Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered with this humorous, yet very serious, guide to staying alive.

1. Cardio? Nah, Netflix & Breathe Indoors

Running outside is basically signing up for lung annihilation. So, ditch the cardio and embrace the life of a couch potato. Want to impress your crush? Text them instead of meeting for coffee. Trust us, coughing is not cute.

2. Boost Your Immunity Like a Pro

Your body needs all the backup it can get. Here’s your pollution-fighting grocery list:

• Vitamin C: Guava, orange, pineapple, kiwi, amla, lemon, and mausambi. Think fruity AF.
• Vitamin E: Almonds, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, and peanuts. Basically, snack like a squirrel.
• Ginger, honey, and lemon water are now your new best friends.

3. Invest in an Air Purifier. It’s Not a Flex, It’s Survival

Skip that next Zara splurge and get an air purifier. It’s your literal lifeline. Bonus points if you place it next to some indoor plants like aloe vera because aesthetic.

4. Mask Up Like It’s Still 2020

N95 masks are the new fashion statement. Step outside without one, and you might as well inhale a truck’s exhaust pipe.

5. Hydrate Like It’s a Trend

Water is your secret weapon. Flush out those nasty pollutants by chugging like you’re prepping for a desert hike.

6. Tell Your Parents to Stay Home, For Real

They might roll their eyes, but firmly tell them, “Mummy, Dilli ki hawa nahi, ghar ki chai badiya hai.” Also, this is the perfect excuse to WFH. Tell your boss you’re saving your lungs for the company.

7. Skip Smoking, The Air’s Already Doing It For You

If the air wasn’t bad enough, puffing on a cigarette is like adding kerosene to a fire. Just don’t.

8. Take Steam Like a Wellness Influencer

A little steam every day can clear up those sinuses clogged with what we can only describe as “Delhi’s Special Blend.”

9. Close the Windows & Stay Zen

Fresh air? LOL. Keep windows and doors shut tighter than your secrets.

10. Gym Close By? Good. Gym Far? Forget It.

If your gym’s a short walk away, go for it (masked, of course). If it’s far, congrats, you’ve just found your excuse to skip leg day.

11. Cancel Plans & Chill Indoors

Be a responsible friend and tell your squad: “Bro, ghar pe PUBG khel lete hain. Bahar jaake kaunsa London ki hawa milegi.“

Delhi’s air right now is one giant health hazard, but hey, we’re all in this together (indoors, of course). Stay safe, mask up, and remind yourself that surviving this season deserves a reward like a guilt-free binge-watch or a whole cake to yourself.

After all, what’s the point of braving the AQI if you’re not going to enjoy that indoor life like a champ?