In popular culture and otherwise, there has been a lot of conversation about romantic long-distance relationships and how tough they can be. Most of which is correct. They are difficult, you cannot talk properly if there is a time difference, your routines change, and the lack of physical intimacy throws you off. Long-distance relationships suck big time, agreed. 

But so do long-distance friendships. In fact, as someone whose friends, all decided to change cities, states, and then countries after college, I can vouch it probably hurts more.

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Because here’s the thing, for 3 years, we were together day and night. We used to have all our meals together, sleep at the same time, wake up around each other, and go to classes together. Basically, we forgot how to live a life where we weren’t just a verbal prompt away. 

And this was at a very impressionable age. We were discovering things, and forming opinions. So much of my beliefs reflect my friends’ beliefs because, in so many ways, they taught me right from wrong.

Obviously, things changed a lot after college, but there was always this relief of knowing that if I want to see them, I can. We are all very lazy plan-makers, but if there was an emergency, medical, physical or emotional, my friends would come running over and I tried to do the same for them. It’s about priorities. 

Now, this is where long distance creates an impact. We are still priorities for each other but with, say, a 12-hour-time difference, certain things are just not possible. You’d think twice before ringing your friend who, you know, has just hit the bed after a long day at work. 

Not to mention, you can’t see them. With video calls, etc, this bit has become easier, but only relatively. Nothing beats sitting across the table from your friends, eating food, and laughing together. It is one of the biggest joys of life.

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I consider myself extremely lucky to have them in my life, and even though things are difficult, we make it work. Also, I am endlessly proud of what they have all achieved and the fact that they are chasing their dreams. 

It’s just…you wish you could turn up to their house and ring the bell. When you see people hanging out with their friends, even if it’s something as simple as going to the mall to do window shopping, you wish you could do that. You wish you could mindlessly binge-watch stuff until midnight. 

You wish you could give them a hug.

It is always the small things, isn’t it? To my friends who are far, this one is for you. While it hurts to not have you in the same city or country, we will always figure a way out, and who knows, maybe our personal ambitions will allow us to be physically together again! Here’s hoping.

You are a part of me, you are the heart of me.