Have you noticed? There is an influx of men on dating apps who always enter a tangent about how women are “selfish” and “privileged” because they don’t have to pay on dates. HAHAHA. First of all, this culture of dating rules was set by the patriarchy that historically deprived women of the fundamental right to earn a livelihood and compelled them to be dependent on men. Second of all (and before you say “Oh, but now women can work!”), the battle against discrimination is not over for women. From the wage gap to the pink tax to watching our every step so we don’t get raped or killed, women continue to be treated unfairly in every aspect of life. The least you can do is buy us dinner. Anyway, rant over.
Sick and tired of men complaining about the “high standards” of women, this Twitter user came up with a list of free activities that would easily win hearts (Because believe it or not, in most cases, women are not the ones exploiting men. LOL).
TIRED of men acting persecuted by women’s ‘high’ standards so I’m going to make a list of FREE things that make us happy
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
All FREE
There’s the classic. cooking a nice, hearty meal. Plus there’s nothing hotter than a partner who can chef it up.
Cook a meal. A regular meal. Daal chawal. I don’t mean date night. I don’t mean a special favor. I mean maybe one day a week she doesn’t have to plan or cook. Daal pressure cooker mein dalo. Chawal 20 minute mein dam karo. Tarka lagai. Bas
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Putting an effort to notice the finer details and not a generic, “You look nice.”
Compliment her. That’s it. That’s the rocket science. Do it without making it sound like a joke. Do it when she gets dressed up for an outing. Puts on eyeliner. Literally a sentence. That’s it.
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Good music = good vibes.
Sing a song. Any song. SA has a long history of really good love songs. Just sing it. Tell her you’re singing it for her. Sing the song
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
It’s the little things that matter the most.
Take pictures of her. Whenever you’re out. When you think she looks nice. When she thinks she looks nice. A candid from across the shadi hall maybe. Take one without her noticing. Surprise her with it you fool.
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
If you see a cute cringy af meme, two cats cuddling, a stupid shair on the back of a truck, send it to her
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Pay attention. What does she like? To eat? To buy? Books? Stationary? Her favourite colour? That way on a birthday or anniversary you’ll actually KNOW WHAT TO BUY FOR HER.
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Literally just ask her friend or check out the small businesses she follows on insta.
Ya I got you this cheap little notebook with a cool graphic on it because I know you like cute glittery graphics here you go
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
…And the most important: women enjoy good sex too! Know your way around the female body.
Veering back into free territory. Good sex also costs no money. Be good at sex. If you don’t know how, open an incognito tab and Google it
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Plus there are these for seasoned couples:
Parent your child. That’s it. Taking that baby/toddler/child off her hands for a couple of hours and playing with it costs 0 rupees. Washing its potty also costs 0 rupees but is so MUCH MORE VALUABLE
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Dust. Grab a rag and dust. Just do it. Jaley utaro. Pankhey saaf karo. Just do it as Nike says. Do it well.
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Don’t do it well enough for her? Stop weaponising your incompetence. Ask her to teach you and actually learn.
Next time you take a shower, deep clean the bathroom. Like deep clean. Scrub the tiles. The faucets and pipes. Clean the toilet. Dust the windowsill. Remove the spider webs. Wash and dry the toothbrush holder and the soap dish and all the bottles. Clean the mirror.
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Wash the dishes. Even you can’t mess that up.
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Do the laundry. Again Google it.
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Tell her to go out with friends. Heck don’t just tell her. CLEAR HER SCHEDULE SO SHE CAN GO
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Respect her parents. Let her be their child and support them. Costs 0 rupees also.
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Don’t let your family talk shit about her or disrespect her. Last I checked that you can get that stuff for about 0 rupees at most wholesale markets.
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Taking your ass off the sofa during family dawats and helping her prep and serve is also, you guessed it, free.
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Not making a big deal out of it later is also very very free
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
Learn to CONTROL YOUR TEMPER. Google how to do it.
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
You all REFUSE to do the bare minimum here so what else can you offer? Your salary? A comfortable life? Respect? Kindness? What?
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
In return you all want a robot. Someone with no personality who you can program to your liking. Someone who obeys you explicitly. Who follows your schedule. Someone who, when she’s done with housework, parenting, socialising with YOUR family, folds herself nicely into a drawer
— OhChiefestAndGreatestOfCalamities (@mustyoumustard) July 22, 2022
When the world is one big, bad loop of never-ending patriarchy, all women want from their partners is some appreciation and empathy. A shoulder to cry on, a hug to give. It doesn’t have to be expensive dinners or elaborate gestures but tiny tweaks in your mundane lives can create a whole lot of difference. And that’s way better than a bunch of pointless red roses.