1. Every time they text you, your go-to reaction is “what now?”

2. They aren’t that interested in any of your interests but want you to be there for all of their shit. 

Ask them to get over themselves. 

3. All they want to do is gossip. Some gossip is fine but if your whole relationship is based on gossip, then y’all need help. 

4. If your male friend treats women like shit but tells you he won’t ever do that to you, run the F away. He would definitely do it to you. 

5. If he say shit like “I like hanging out with boys because less drama”, just stop them from finishing that sentence. 

6. If they expect you to drop everything at once to help them but didn’t even know when you were in the hospital for 6 months, you know you they are not your friends. 

7. If they make casual homophobic slurs and pass them off as jokes, you should ditch the F out of them. 

8. If they only talk to you if their other friends are busy then you were never really buddies, to begin with. 

9. If you find yourself apologising every time there’s a little dispute, then I am afraid, your buddy is a little shit. 

10. If they only ever contact you when they need something, block their number. 

11. If they never admit their mistakes, you already know it’s a toxic relationship that is only going to cause pain. 

12. If they are anti-abortion, just kick them in the head. Repat. Then leave. 

13. If they go on the comments section of Coke Studio and talk shit, you should understand that some people are too far gone.

14. If they are always trying to one-up you, instead of listening to your problems, you need to throw them out of your life. This isn’t sadness Olympics. 

15. If they are always telling you how something/someone is out of your league, remind them Megan Fox is with Machine Gun Kelly. Then, block their number. 

There we go. We’ll keep updating the list as we become more woke. You’re welcome.