Hi there. I am the one who you walked past when I smiled at you this morning, the one you conveniently ignored at the college fresher’s party, the one you choose to stay away from at your office, and the one you check out every once in a while but not because you like her but because she is too, umm, ‘fat.’ Yes, that’s what you called me when you told your friend to check me out, didn’t you? That’s all that I am for the world – fat, chubby, plump, curvy. No one wants to look beyond that. No one wants to know who I am, or what I do. Being fat is how I am remembered.
I get mocked and made fun of by my very own relatives, leave alone strangers. It’s a sad feeling and I can’t even speak up. But I have kept mum for a very long time now. I can’t anymore. Being someone who is not society’s version of thin is hard in our country. I wish I could tell this to everyone:
1. I am a lot more than my body!
2. Do you even care to know how I put on this much weight?
Whether it was an injury, a medical condition or my love for food? Ever bothered to know why I am like this?
3. I have hated myself all my life. I don’t need anymore hatred.
4. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to make friends?
5. The guy I have a crush on does not even know that I exist.
6. The thin girls give me so much complex.
7. The pressure to be like them is definitely getting to me.
8. I am always called cute, and never pretty. It never bothered me at first, but it does now.
9. I hate the way the person on the other side of the counter looks at me when I ask for 2 McAloo Tikkis instead of one.
10. Or when that annoying relative asks me to lose weight, ” nahi toh shaadi kaun karega?”
11. My skinny friend says she will go on another diet to get a zero figure. Really, now?
12. Because being born in a society that is obsessed with fair and skinny models is a curse for us ‘fat’ people.
13. People can’t seem to stop suggesting new ways and crash diets to lose weight.
14. Do you have any idea how many times a day I get that advice and how maddening it has become?
15. It’s not that I haven’t tried to lose weight but with all the negativity and criticism around, it’s really hard.
16. Can you even try to imagine being bullied as a school kid because of your weight?
17. Do you know that weight is something that can be lost, but an attitude like yours can’t.
18. Everyone has a story. Try to know it before being a judgemental prick.
Go on, call me fat and hate me more. But be ready for I am not going to keep mum now.
For others like me, I know it gets really tough sometimes but be confident, women. Don’t let the scale of the weighing machine let you down. I’ve lived in misery for a big part of my life, but no more.
Of late, I’ve become more and more comfortable with who I am. In fact, I’ve started loving myself. After all, I am much more than my body. And so are you.
