So here’s everything good that we miss about Bollywood. I know, I do.

1. Imran Khan’s rom-coms

The joy of watching an Imran Khan rom-com was equivalent to getting that lic lolly on a hot summer day — nothing competes it. For a short while, we got a guy-next-door who wasn’t a macho hero, but exuberated warmth and love, the kind that feels like violins playing in the background. And isn’t that how rom-coms are supposed to make us feel?

2. Songs that are not made for reels

Accept it or not, the bitter truth is that most songs these days cannot hold our attention for more than 30 seconds. They do end up getting viral, but nobody’s going to call them “evergreen”, 20 years from now. Bollywood seems to care only about the chorus, while the rest of the song becomes a distant memory or a viral meme (ahem, Kesariya, ahem). 

3. Akshay Kumar doing comedy

Let’s just face it, nobody likes the new genre of films that Akshay Kumar has suddenly picked. He tries too hard to talk about a social issue, while also making jokes about it. And guess how that turns out? I mean, why do something that you’re clearly failing at when there’s something else that you did better – making janta laugh with classics like Hera Pheri, Welcome or Bhool Bhulaiyaa.

4. SRK

That’s it, that’s the whole point. While the king is returning in 2023 with quite the line-up, that has our hearts happy. But, it has also been more than just a gap, it’s been a void (humph). Even though we’ll make do with the cameos, it feels like forever since we last saw him spread his arms on the big-screen.

5. Better or equally good sequels

It’s a very basic fact that sequels should be better than or at least just as good as the original film. But, at this point it just seems that Bollywood is throwing sequels at us because of lack of content (or imagination). They’re literally destroying the nostalgia of original movies by creating content that doesn’t live up to anyone’s expectations. I mean, we saw what Bhool Bhulaiyaa 2 did. 

6. Aesthetics of movie posters

I’m not just talking about the sarson ke khet, albeit they did look pretty. But, there was something about old movie posters that we haven’t been able to recreate. The art work is probably one reason why, where posters were more than just airbrushed images and photoshopped elements. There was a proper filmy vibe to them, specifically with the popping colours and dramatic fonts. 

7. Meaningful lyrics without silly remixes 

What happened to the good music that people couldn’t get enough of? Now it’s all about weird remixes of good-old songs, that just sound bad, or lyrics that do not make sense at all. They’re ruining the OGs, without even feeling bad about it. It’s all Coca Cola, Booty Shake, and whatnot. Put some effort, please?

8. A good horror movie

Like them or not, deep-down, we all want to watch a good horror movie every once in a while — even if that means closing our eyes in every important (read: scary) scene. While we like well-made horror comedies, which we’ve also witnessed recently, it’s sad that we have forgotten the art of making good, pure scary films.

9. The lack of #Boycott trend

Every day is a new boycott trend, and at this rate we wouldn’t be able to watch any film. Art is subjective, and we all have an opinion, which is good. But, we cannot possibly know that something is wrong with a film before the film or even its trailer has released. Sadly, Bollywood can’t do much about it. 

10. We miss that once, not so long ago, Bollywood had a spine.

Hopefully, SRK ke aane se sab theek ho jayega.