All’s fair in love and war. But ANYTHING’s possible in shaadis on Indian daily soaps. IDK where do these writers go for ideation, but never, and I repeat, NEVER, can they experience a creative block. Koi kami hi nahi hai originality ki. 

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I wonder if someday they will get a vampire boyfriend to bite the human girlfriend on the maang and they get married, as blood>>>sindoor. Did I just invoke the TV serial industry to hire me?

iDiva

Who am I to say anything against an (in)genius plotline? As muggles don’t get magic, we common people can never understand the logic behind the flying thaalis and nishanebaaz sindoor. No, I’m not just rambling about weddings and TVs without purpose. I am here to share my observations with you. Because these daily soaps have, for real, trumped the matchmaking aunties who try to set up your rishta at every family function.

1. The accidental shaadi: do not attempt at home.

There are arranged marriages. There are love marriages. And then there are accidental marriages. Don’t we love it when it happens? You know, you’re sitting at your dressing table, casually dressing up, when you feel something falling on your nose. And the next thing you know you are a married woman. 

The makers of the show invented a sure shot way to get married without hassle. No pheras, no guest lists, no kharcha. You just need an open sindoor ki dibbi, a guy wearing long sleeves and voila. You’re done. Chhat maang mein sindoor, pat byaah. 

2. The game of kisko milega sindoor.

Disclaimer: 3 women were involved in making sure the sindoor reaches the heroine. 

So, getting your maang bhari is every girl’s dream, at least in a daily soap. And you can go to any lengths to get that red powder to fall on you because it changes everything. The guy becomes your husband, you become the bahu and people accept the fate because who can question the sindoor cupid?

This show showed the hunger games: maang edition. You can get married too, just follow the steps:

Step 1: Drop a battery. Use Duracell for better results.
Step 2: Wait while a woman slips on them and knocks off the thaali containing the vermillion.
Step 3: Push your competitor out of the way.
Step 4: Stand there watching failed gravity as the thaali takes its sweet time to fall. Order a coffee as this will take a while.

ScoopWhoop

This doesn’t always promise winning results, as you may land in grey ash instead of red sindoor, suhaag ki nishani. 

3. Big sister, little sister, who cares?

Sasural Simar Ka has always been innovative. And so it was when they made the younger sister sit at the mandap and stall the wedding so that the elder sister could enter a contest. And she gets married. Ouch. That’s why they say better late than never. 

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4. Where there’s sindoor, there’s romance. 

Accidents happen all the time on daily soaps. They might lead the protagonist to lose their memory, they might kill a character, but most importantly, they ignite passion and romance between the couple. Did you know by carefully smearing the floor with 1 mm water, you can fire up the chemistry between you and your partner?  

While the hero tumbles around to find a way to apply sindoor on the forehead of the heroine, TV serials tumble around to find logic. Logic:0, Daily Soap:1. 

5. When ‘main tumhaare liye chhand taare le aaunga‘ became true, and shit got real. 

There are different ways of choosing a husband. Dating on Tinder, registering on Shaadi.com, holding a swavaymwar. But nothing can beat demanding the moon. No, not a mooncake or a fake table lamp moon. But M-O-O-N. Chaand. The one that causes tides and winds. Lunar eclipse waala moon. Because, why not?

The guy of this show takes it too far, as he gets a rope long enough to cover 384,400 km. He even goes to Hogwarts and borrows the flying car and a magic wand, because, why not? And lo and behold! There falls the chaand ka tudka. O Neil Armstrong, you poor fellow. 

No, no. Don’t utter logic when I am talking about Indian daily soaps.