Women’s issues would be dismissed under the pretext that they were just acting up. This is a practice that continues to exist; we have only become marginally better in the last few decades, centuries as a matter of fact when it comes to women’s health. 

So when it comes to the reproductive health of women, you can imagine the taboo attached to it, especially in a country like India. Indian women have some of the highest mortality rates in the world especially in their ‘reproductive’ years. 

And a lot of it can be chalked to careless diagnosis by gynaecologist across the country. And while there are a lot of issues that need to be spoken about, we are going to one particular topic, a problem every Indian woman who has been sexually active faces when they visit a gynaec. 

It’s this assumption that unmarried women do not have sex! 

There is still stigma against sex and a weird obsession with virginity that are responsble for some serious negligence on part of doctors, that can and do lead to health issues in women. 

Secondly, this country is obsessed with motherhood. So much so that gynaec care somehow always becomes about pregnancy in India. While we talk all high and mighty about having access to abortion as compared to the US, the fact of the matter is that doctors will treat you with a preference for your fetus’ health, which can be at the risk of your own health. 

Even with pregnancy, there is hardly any talk about post-partum depression, which is seriously weird for a country obsessed with making babies and worshipping motherhood. 

But we are deviating from subject matter a little bit. Why is it that gynaecologists in India are not sex positive? You did an MBBS. You are a doctor with expertise in the subject? Why is sex such a taboo for you? Marriage is not a requirement to have sex. 

According to a survey conducted in 2018, the peak age of first sex for women is lower at 15-19. Sex is already made such a fuss of in our country, like the whole family’s honour is gardened in a woman’s vagina and having sex before marriage just kills it. Women get murdered for less in this country. There are not a lot of safe spaces for them to begin with. 

An OB/GYN is supposed to provide that safe space to them so they can talk about sex, be educated, be aware, and avoid STDs, pregnancies, and UTIs among other things. 

You have one job. That’s it. That is your job. Why don’t you do it? Do you even understand how difficult it is for unmarried women to even visit gynaecologists? Parents don’t allow them to go before marriage, that’s how terribly medieval we are. 

Apparently, one of the most common pieces of advice women receive from gynaecs is to practice abstinence or get married. Who the f**k are you? You have no moral authority over your patients. Teaching abstinence doesn’t work. Even I, a cishet man knows that, that’s how many studies have been published on that!

How is the cure for PCOD marriage? Where the hell did you get your degree? Why do you still have a license to practice? 

Oh, and the bedside manner, OMG, Dr Komolika aunty, ask if you are sex-positive, what does ‘have you been naughty’ even mean? 

OH MY GOD! How are women even alive in this country? Oh, that’s right, we do have one of the highest mortality rates among women here. Wonder who’s to blame! Medical schools need to teach their students to be empathetic and professional towards their patients. Moral policing doesn’t do anyone any good. And no one needs it, no one has ever asked for it. You are not doing anyone any favour by pretending to behave like parents. People already have those. 

There’s a lot more to address here, which I wish I were qualified enough to do. So…Just do your job. Do better. And keep up with the rest of the world, FFS. Millions of lives literally depend on it.