Potato is the most versatile vegetable that there is. It could be baked, mashed, fried, or cooked into any awesomeness. My love for potatoes is endless, so much so that I can identify as a potato myself. Here’s a heartfelt and candid ode to potato, the spud… I mean, stud of all vegetables.

To all the boys I’ve loved before, potatoes were always my first love.

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From curly fries to vodka, potatoes are a complete package. Head to toe, they are perfection. I mean, where else would you find a boo, who’s both hot and chill AF at the same time? 

Matlab chakna bhi aaloo, daaru bhi aaloo.

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From boiled to fried, all the range of emotions potato comes in, is beautiful (and yummy). While romances run stale over the course of time, you can never get bored of potatoes. Can I get an Amen?

It’s a main course dish, it also doubles as fries on the side. That’s the thing with potatoes, they don’t mind being secondary. A chameleon of a vegetable, the potato can be molded into any delicacy – from scalloped potatoes to cheese fries. When you have it with corn, it’s corny. When you have it with cheese, it’s cheesy. What is this sorcery? Drooling already or whaa?

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Potatoes are like Geminis, they get along with everyone. They are the vegetable form of Robert Downey Jr. – they fit into every role and everyone loves them. 

Your friends like ’em, your parents like ’em. They are everybody’s favourite! Plus you can easily sneak potatoes into your room, if you know what I mean. 

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If someone asks who is your roll model, I mean role model, you know what my answer is gonna be.

Potatoes are like Rock-n-roll. They are proof that love comes in all shapes and sizes. Plus, they couldn’t care less if you call them po-ta-to or po-tah-to. ‘Cause they’re chill AF! 

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Potatoes never judge. Potatoes understand.

The existence of potatoes is the world’s biggest paradox. French fries are slim & curly while potato is thicc, man. Like, woahhh. Also, if someone calls you potato now you know how to handle that ‘burn’. Eh? Eh? *laughs in potato*

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And the best part, potatoes will never leave you or break your heart. Am I right or am I right?

Plus no one would try to steal your potatoes from you. And if anyone does, you are allowed to go full Joey on them.

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Keep the cheese fries, rolling, yo. Let’s potato this romance away. Yeet. 

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 Foodgasm, all the way, frens. Potato is bae.