But more often than not, most of us struggle to get it right. Getting the pace right is very essential for the process of it. It can actually make the sex even more exciting. 

Relationship experts and specialists around the world are constantly looking for new ways to do the same and currently, there has been a lot of talk in the town about Victorian sex. According to these experts, if couples can recreate the kind of passion Victorians showed towards sex, they can really spice up their sex life. 

London-based sex therapists Mike Lousada and Louise Mazanti, in their new book – Real Sex, reveal that the key to better sex and intimacy lies in a bedroom trend from the 19th century. It is a practice called Karezza that encourages both men and women to abstain from orgasm during sex. This allows both of them to enjoy for a longer period of time and experience a more intense sexual energy. This term was first coined in 1896 by Dr. Alice Bunker Stockham who is a Chicago based obstetrician and gynecologist. 

Fun fact: She was only the fifth woman to become a doctor in the United States.

She fought for birth control and other women rights tremendously, during that time and also, towards sexual fulfillment for both men and women.

This technique involves a lot of caressing, eye gazing and light touching. Even though it was highly controversial in the Victorian era due to its controlling nature (was also called sexual continence), it was popular amongst forward-thinking couples.

The authors have claimed in their book that adopting to Karezza can help couples rekindle ‘subtle sensations’ that often go unnoticed. They emphasize on the idea of getting away from friction-based sex and make space for pleasurable sensations.  

In an interview with Metro, they said:

When we really tune in to these sensations, a bit like electricity running through our body, then our whole body can become orgasmic. This creates a full-body orgasm that can last as long as we chose for it to, instead of the rather brief type of genital orgasm that we refer to as a ‘pelvic sneeze’.

This theory is being supported by doctors who pointed out that this could be the natural alternative to Viagra, and possibly a cure for sexual dysfunction, or lack of desire in women.

Doctors also said that an orgasm activates 80 different regions of the brain reach their maximum activity which can desensitise the brain to pleasure or create a craving for more. Karezza makes the sexual energies continuously flowing and makes the ‘finish line’ dissappear, so boredom is out of question.