As is the case with most of us, many mistakes are made while dating, as teenagers. And even if you didn’t start dating until later on in life, you know that the first few years of dating are just an endless list of lessons. Which is why, this Reddit thread where people have discussed what they’d tell their 16-year-old self about dating is so insightful. Here, take a look:
1. “Young people spend a lot of time in shitty relationships due to the pressure of being in a relationship. It’s better to wait for the right girlfriend/boyfriend than to desperately search for someone, anyone to date. Just chill out, be yourself, work on your education, romance will come your way.”
2. “Don’t be afraid to leave. You can do better.”
3. “Someone might not look exactly like what you wanted, or be interested in activities you expected. But go on a casual date with them anyway, you might be surprised. And if they aren’t it, part as friends, all you have lost is an evening, and there are plenty of those.”
4. “I spent age 21 and 22 with a girl I hated, but I was too emotionally inexperienced to break up with her and end the relationship sooner. I feel like those could have been much happier, better years if I hadn’t had a girlfriend.
That being said, if I hadn’t dated her, I wouldn’t have grown into the person capable of falling in love with the woman that would become my wife, and have that love reciprocated. Looked for and married someone who treats me with respect and that I respect.”
5. “I think in shitty relationships you gotta hope to reach that sweet spot of hurting enough to learn, but not enough to be traumatised.
I think the concept of red flags has been heavily trivialised but they do hold great value in helping you understand what’s acceptable and what isn’t.”
– mcjc94
6. “To respect myself when dating a woman. Not everything should be about the girl. You’re a human buddy & your happiness is just as important. Don’t let a girl blame you for things that’s out of your control. Don’t cry over a woman when she cheats, and learn from her cheating. Don’t get back with that girl, and focus on your personal growth. ALSO stay away from bartenders, the free drinks are great. The heartache isn’t. Now go kill it champ. I know you will!”
– JTPolar·
7. “Don’t try so hard to get laid. Actually try to get to know people.”
8. “Don’t do anything like a rom-com is good advice.“
9. “Dating older men does NOT (I REPEAT DOES NOT) mean you are mature for your age! They can sense that you’re vulnerable and desperate for validation and they only want to take advantage of you.“
10. “You’re less awkward than you think. People do actually like you. Maybe give one of those long-shots a shot.”
– Mezentine·
11. “You don’t have to be ‘Pursuing marriage’ to date. And, if you are dating someone, you don’t have to stay with them just because you dated ‘With marriage in mind.’
12. “Just because someone is nice to you does not mean you owe them anything but gratitude.”
13. “It’s okay to date more than one person before getting hitched.”
– ojyelims
14. “They’re as scared of you as you are of them. Be honest, be sincere, be who you are. If the other person can’t handle that, move on.”
15. “You’re not broken, look into aromantisism and asexuality.”
If you have any advice to your 16-year-old self, share with us in the comments.
