If you have ever been on a dating app, you know it’s not easy to meet someone. I mean, I wish I met someone so smoothly as they show in ads.
While many of us still hope to find the love of our life based on a swipe, I think it’s best to accept that not everyone gets lucky. And these dating app nightmares are proof:
1. “When I didn’t want to go on a second date, he sent me a photo of him cutting himself with blood everywhere titled “I bleed for you.” Ugh nope.”
2. “It ended up being a double date with his mom and her OkCupid date. He told me that he and his mom were a package deal. I was mortified, and there was no second date.”
3. “While meeting a guy for the first time, he proceeded to nervously rub his bare hands all over his bare feet and then rake his fingers through his beard. Hands to feet to beard to feet to beard. I just sat there grossed out thinking “Foot Beard. Foot Beard. His beard smells like feet.” Barf.”
4. “I dated a guy from OKC that was pretty nice, funny. However, he didn’t tell me he had a son until date number four, I think? Which was fine. I like kids. And then, randomly, after four months, he dumped me. 2 days later, he was FBO with another girl. I later found out that he’d been dating the second girl all along, but she went to study abroad. I was there to fill in the space.”
5. “A girl lied about her age and turned out to still be in high school. She also turned out to be the best friend of the sister of one of my gaming friends. Did not go okay.”
6. “On the first date the guy asked me (in some hypothetical about why feminism is awful) “would you rather be raped or sent to jail for 20 years?” Protip guys: that sentence should probably never, ever be said to someone you don’t know, but especially not on a first date.”
7. “Went on a date after talking to this guy for a few weeks and I told him I was thinking of getting my nose pierced but was afraid it would hurt. We are walking through a park in broad daylight and this dude takes a safety pin out of his pocket and fucking jams it through his nostril. Blood pours down his face. He laughs and says “See? No big deal.” Dude. WTF.”
8. “Talked to him for two weeks before we went out and no red flags so we ended up going out to dinner. I said I hadn’t been out in a while because I was trying to save money for a washer and dryer. He told me instead of saving for that I should save for a boob job. I didn’t even know how to reply so he followed up with, “no it’s not a bad thing, my sister and Mom both had small tits and got boob jobs and they look amazing.” This is all before the waitress even brought our drinks. I just got up and left.”
9. “First date, she wanted me to get into a bar fight with the perfectly friendly guy who’d bought us a round of shots that night. Why? Because she found out he was a Scorpio.”
10. “I went to his place and we hooked up but after he goes “so you wanna know what I’m really into?” And I was like sure and then he grabbed my foot. I have a really irrational fear of people touching my feet so I ran the hell out of there. I get to the living room on the way out and it turns out to be his parents’ house and I look at his mother and see she was my old therapist.”
11. “Talked to a girl for a year, and started to make changes to see if I could move closer. Only to find out I’m her backup plan”.
12. “Been on four dates with guys online and three tell me that they love me after the first date, sigh, no more online dating for me.”
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