I think almost all of us have been in situations where a friend or a loved one turned out to be a bit of a taker. You know, where you paid for most of the things between the two of you, and they hardly made efforts to pay you back, or even to discuss the situation and how to settle the bill? Well, this Reddit thread where people have shared stingy things friends did that ultimately damaged the relationship is probably the most relatable thing you’ll read today.
Here, take a look:
1. “When I was in high school, a girl I considered a close friend could not afford tickets to see a band we both loved. I saved my pocket money and got her a ticket to see them with me. She was so grateful that she cried.
BUT, a few weeks later she entered a radio competition to win tickets and meet the band, for her and a friend. She WON. She called me up and screamed excitedly on the phone, and I was super excited too because naturally, I assumed we were going together. She told me she was taking a different friend instead of me and I could give the ticket I had bought for her to someone else. As a 14 year old, this broke my heart. I would have given anything to have met that band. It was a long time before I did a favour like that for someone again.”
2. “It wasn’t a single act but our entire friendship. She was such a grifter and a user. I’d pay for everything. It actually hurts to think about how much money I’d given to her out of the goodness of my heart. Meanwhile she’d not pay back any of it, but would literally expect me to pay her back for a $5 coffee. She also pretty much stole my Nintendo DS, that I’d let her borrow. She had bragged to another friend that it was hers.”
3. “I invited my friend to go out for brunch, my treat. She agreed and I was looking forward to having girl time with her. She later said her fiancé really wanted to come too, and asked if I’d mind him joining us. He was weird and annoying, and now instead of a girl hangout I’d be third-wheeling with them, but I said ‘Alright, no problem.’
We went and as expected, her fiancé was getting on my nerves, but whatever. When the bill came, her fiancé who invited himself along didn’t make any move to pay or at least cover his portion so I picked up the bill and paid for him too. I guess that wasn’t good enough for him, because he complained that I tipped too much. His exact words were, ‘That waitress is ugly. Ugly waitresses don’t deserve tips.’ My friend just sat there with this blank little smile on her face as this was happening.”
4. “Not me personally, but my boyfriend’s best friend sent him a 100% serious Venmo request for $0.37 for a single shrimp after my boyfriend ate one while at dinner with friends.”
5. “My childhood friend asked to go to a concert together (her first concert ever). I paid for travel, food, hotel room, and even drinks at the event. It kind of bothered me that she never offered to pay her half, but I was doing much better than her financially, so I didn’t push. Once we got back to my home after the concert, she refused to leave until I rotated her tires for her. It made me realise what a self absorbed user she was. Dropped her after that.”
6. “I had a friend who wanted to come see me and spend some time, but she could only afford the plane ride. Cool, stay at my house and since I didn’t have to fly, I paid for all sorts of things to do while she would be here. She arrived with a ‘friend’ and basically turned me into a 3rd wheel. She used the trip to cheat on her husband. And didn’t do any of the things that we had planned out. Then she got mad at me for saying her guy friend couldn’t stay in my house. So, I told her husband, and dropped her as a friend. Looking back I realised she was just using me as emotional support, that she didn’t actually care about me at all. “
7. “A couple months ago I was out with a friend who I hadn’t seen in a while. The card machine at the place we had dinner at wasn’t working so I paid cash for both of us and said ‘You can cover the drinks later.’ We walk to a nearby bar and each have 2 drinks. We ask to pay (I didn’t immediately get my wallet out because I assumed she was paying) and she just awkwardly asks for separate bills. And it was less than the dinner bill.
A few days later she invites me to a nightclub with another friend. The 3rd friend pays for the first round of drinks. I pay for the 2nd round of drinks. When it came time to pay for the 3rd round my friend just looks away and pretends she doesn’t see the bartender. So we pay again.
Things like this happened a few times with this friend. I became more diligent about asking for my money back the last time we met. She seemed quite annoyed with that and has barely messaged me since.“
– dizeka·
8. “I had a friend who would organise ‘Girls’ dinners’, order a ton of appetisers and expensive drinks and just as the bill was about to come, she would complain about her money troubles. The messed up part was that her friends were so used to this that they just covered her portion, leaving me to be the asshole for not wanting to. I started to bring cash only, and then stopped going all together. It said a lot about her as a person, a very casual but calculating user.”
9. “My husband (then boyfriend) and I went out to dinner w/a coworker/friend and her husband. My husband has a great job, her husband was delivering newspapers for a living at the time. So, my guy paid for the entire dinner. My friend was gracious enough to thank him, but the next day at work she cornered me and asked me how much he made, what his salary was. I said I didn’t know but it was more than either of us made (we worked the same job). She said, completely seriously, as though we were conspiring together to bilk my boyfriend, ‘From now on, we’ll get him pay for everything.‘
10. “I had accidentally left my wallet at a ‘friend’s’ house when I was in high school. She gave it back to me at school the next day, minus the petty cash that was in it. I asked her what happened to it and she just looked at me stupidly and lied to my face about not having even gone through it. I was like, ‘Okay,’ and that was the end of that friendship.“
11. “She said she was short on her rent and asked me to borrow 50 bucks, which at the time was a non-insignificant amount considering we were broke ass students. She seemed to be needing it, so I gave it to her with the promise of it being paid back eventually. I gave her the money, ten minutes later she told me about her plans to gift her recently acquired boyfriend a little vacation – She had just found a nice BnB 50 bucks a night. Weird, I thought, ‘Seems to me like I’m the one gifting them a vacation. But hey she’s gonna pay me back, right?’
Months and months and months later, she remembers and says she wants to thank me by taking me out for dinner. Silly me though she would pay me back and pay for dinner?
Nope, she offered me dinner in a shitty pizza place that amounted to 30 bucks for 2 people, drinks included. So she ‘Paid me back’ 15, never saw the rest.”
– griselde
12. “Every time we would hang out I would pay for everything. At first it was like, ‘Okay, times are tough for you and I want to do fun stuff so I got you.’ But then it became blatantly disrespectful when times were no longer hard for her. One time in 10 years, I asked for some money back from a day she ‘Forgot her card’ and said she would pay me back. I spent around 150 on just her that day, on stupid shit too. Souvenir type things she ‘Needed.’ I asked for $100. She hit me with ‘When I get paid’ and then totally ghosted me the next week.”
I think we all needed this thread.
