Even when our country is polarised on topics like religion and politics, if there’s one common thread that ties us all together, it has to be food. Food is a blessing that helps humans forget the imaginary lines of caste and nationalities. 

And what exactly do we like in food? Everything. Well, almost everything. Except karela (AKA bitter gourd). 

You like karela? Good for you. But please stop reading this article right away because this article will not please you. We are happy that you like a vegetable that looks like Satan’s penis but please don’t recommend some exotic little dish with karela as the main ingredient to make a point. There’s no discussion here. Karela sucks and everyone who likes it is free to have that opinion. Because nothing much can be done about opinions, even when they are wrong.

You want proof for the fact that karela is horrible? Well, I’ll borrow a bit of logic from Arnab Goswami and ask you to not insult me by asking for any valid proof.

Every time my mother would serve me karela, I’d think this is some super doped up Trainspotting kind of vegetable on my plate. Only that the food doesn’t make any sense unlike the movie.

I know that I might be a cynical asshole who likes nitpicking on things like FRIENDS or the general trend of washboard abs as the required criteria for being an actor or the fraud that is veg-biryani, but it all stems from karela. The fact that my mom promised me that karela will finally taste nice after she had tried a ‘new’ way of cooking it, gave me trust issues. 

To be honest, it takes me a long time to trust an individual because of the whole karela debacle.

While a lot of guys are quick to point out the health benefits of having bitter gourd, I found this eye-opening article about the harmful effects it has on your health. According to Live Strong,

Eating bitter melon or taking bitter melon supplements could cause headaches and gastrointestinal symptoms such as diarrhea, abdominal pain, vomiting and nausea, especially if you take large amounts. It’s especially important to avoid eating bitter melon seeds, as these may cause abdominal pain, fever, headache and even coma.

While a lot of people claim that karela has helped them fight diabetes and what not, the evidence isn’t strong enough to support its use for these conditions.

Yes, so all the health benefits karela apologists swear by are a sham as well. It’s not even surprising that all of this was a myth considering how some people like how it tastes. Fuck you guys. Seriously.

Karela is also the number one reason behind the surge of people suffering from Stockholm Syndrome in the country. Some kids just give in and start believing that bitter gourd doesn’t taste that bad. Actually, you’ve been brainwashed into thinking this way because of a fucked up society that wants to enforce its beliefs on you. Damn! Being a karela enthusiast might be a lot like religion. But that’s a debate for some other time.

Karela also has a lot of harmful effects.

The red arils that surround the seeds of the bitter melon are toxic to children, potentially causing diarrhea, vomiting and death. People with liver problems and those who have a genetic disorder called glucose-6-phosphate dehydrogenase deficiency should also avoid using bitter melon.

So, this rant of mine isn’t just restricted to the vulgar attack on my taste buds that bitter gourd participates in. It’s factually backed with the adverse effects it has on our health. 

The next time your mom prepares karela and tells you that it helps you or your health, show them this article. Share this on your family Whatsapp group. At least, this article will save someone’s childhood because let’s be honest here, some random ‘Happy Durga Pujo’ picture posted by a random uncle isn’t adding anything to society.

[Author’s Note: Go ahead and tell me how much you like karela in the comment section. But guess what, I’ll still hate karela.]