We’ve rounded up 130 of the best halloween funny comments and hilarious Halloween quotes for you to use in cards, party invitations, social media posts, or just for a good laugh. So, get ready to laugh your way through the spookiest season of the year!

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Funny Halloween Quotes

These Funny Halloween quotes will bring laughter to your Halloween celebrations, giving you the perfect excuse to combine spookiness with a dash of humor.

1. “I’m here for the boos!”
2. “Witch better have my candy!”
3. “Creep it real this Halloween!”
4. “Fangs for the memories!”
5. “Resting witch face activated.”
6. “Hocus pocus and chill.”
7. “If you’ve got it, haunt it!”
8. “I put a spell on you, and now you owe me candy.”
9. “Ghosts just want to have fun!”
10. “Ghouls just want to have fun!”

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Halloween Funny Comments

Looking for halloween funny comments to drop in your social media posts or party chats? These funny quips are perfect for showing your playful side.

11. “If one door closes and another opens, your house is probably haunted.”
12. “This witch can be bribed with chocolate.”
13. “Let’s eat, drink, and be scary!”
14. “Trick or tequila?”
15. “Why did the zombie break up with the vampire? She felt he was a bit ‘draining.'”
16. “I’m the ghostess with the mostest!”
17. “Who needs a costume when you’re already a snack?”
18. “Too ghoul for school!”
19. “What do you mean my fangs aren’t ‘work-appropriate’?”
20. “I’m not saying I’m Dracula, but we’ve never been seen in the same room.”

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Halloween Humor Quotes

Need a dose of Halloween humor quotes to make your spooky season more fun? These light-hearted quips will do the trick (or treat).

21. “I can’t be held responsible for the things I say after my third pumpkin spice latte.”
22. “Love at first bite.”
23. “If you were a ghost, you’d still be boo-tiful!”
24. “Candy is my soulmate.”
25. “What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite!”
26. “Witch, please. I’m fabulous!”
27. “I’d dress up as a ghost, but I’m already too transparent.”
28. “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
29. “Goblins, ghouls, and ghostly giggles.”
30. “Forget the candy, I’m here for the wine.”

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Hilarious Halloween Quotes

These hilarious Halloween quotes are perfect for those who want to add some serious humor to their spooky season. Prepare to laugh!

31. “I’ve stopped drinking coffee. Now I only haunt people.”
32. “Behind every great witch is a broom.”
33. “Ghosts are just people who died trying to fold a fitted sheet.”
34. “This is where the magic happens… and by magic, I mean excessive amounts of candy.”
35. “I’m just here for the candy and questionable life choices.”
36. “What’s up, witches?”
37. “Why don’t mummies take vacations? Because they’re afraid to unwind!”
38. “I don’t need Halloween; I’m a nightmare 365 days a year.”
39. “Can’t decide if I’m more of a treat or a trick.”
40. “Is it too late to be a good witch?”

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Witty Halloween Quotes

If you’re more into clever humor, these witty Halloween quotes will showcase your sharp, spooky style.

41. “I’m a ghost at parties—always around but never seen.”
42. “Boo-lieve in yourself!”
43. “Spook now, sleep later.”
44. “I’m all about that spooky life.”
45. “Eat, drink, and be scary.”
46. “I’ve got friends in ghoulish places.”
47. “Time to trick and treat yo’ self!”
48. “It’s not about the candy. It’s about who you scare along the way.”
49. “Let’s get sheet-faced!”
50. “Witching you a hauntingly good Halloween!”

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Funny Halloween Sayings

These funny Halloween sayings are ideal for adding some playful charm to your Halloween messages, whether for cards, texts, or social media.

51. “Just here for the candy and ghost stories.”
52. “Don’t make me get my wand!”
53. “Warning: I’ll be wearing a cape all week.”
54. “Candy corn is just earwax in disguise.”
55. “Witch way to the candy?”
56. “Zombie apocalypse? Nah, just me before my morning coffee.”
57. “Haunting my exes one costume at a time.”
58. “My resting witch face is perfect this time of year.”
59. “Current mood: Boo-tifully spooky.”
60. “Ghouls rule, witches drool.”

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Short Halloween Quotes Funny

If you’re looking for quick, short Halloween quotes funny enough to make an impact in just a few words, these are perfect.

61. “Spook-tacular!”
62. “Witch, please.”
63. “Too cute to spook.”
64. “Boo to you!”
65. “Hey boo-tiful!”
66. “Creep it real.”
67. “Boo Felicia!”
68. “Happy Howl-o-ween!”
69. “Mummy’s home.”
70. “Pumpkin spice and everything fright.”

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Funny Halloween Tombstone Sayings

Looking to add humor to your Halloween decorations? These funny Halloween tombstone sayings are ideal for making gravestones hilarious.

71. “Here lies Frank… still bitter.”
72. “Rest in pieces.”
73. “I told you I was sick!”
74. “Be right back, just taking a dirt nap.”
75. “Gone but not coffined.”
76. “I’ll be back… as a zombie.”
77. “RIP Diet—died at Halloween.”
78. “Finally got the last laugh!”
79. “Guess I was dying to get in here.”
80. “This isn’t my final resting place, but it’ll do for now.”

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Catchy Halloween Sayings

These catchy Halloween sayings will grab attention and add a little magic to your Halloween celebrations.

81. “Boo-tiful things are happening.”
82. “Fright night delights.”
83. “Ghoulish giggles guaranteed.”
84. “It’s just a bunch of hocus pocus.”
85. “Boo crew coming through!”
86. “Fangs for the fun times!”
87. “I’m here for the boos and brews.”
88. “Eat, drink, and be wicked.”
89. “Join the coven.”
90. “Don’t be a scaredy cat!”

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Cute Funny Halloween Quotes

For something on the lighter side, these cute funny Halloween quotes are perfect for adding a bit of sweetness to your spookiness.

91. “Trick or treat yo’ self!”
92. “Pumpkin kisses and harvest wishes.”
93. “Have a fang-tastic Halloween!”
94. “Cutest little monster in town!”
95. “You’re spooktacular!”
96. “Witch way to the candy?”
97. “If the broom fits, fly it!”
98. “I’m batty for you!”
99. “Hope your Halloween is bootiful!”
100. “Too ghoul for school!”

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Funny Sayings About Pumpkins

These funny sayings about pumpkins will add a humorous twist to any pumpkin patch adventure or carving session.

101. “You’re the pumpkin to my spice.”
102. “Let’s give ‘em pumpkin to talk about.”
103. “Oh my gourd, I love fall!”
104. “I’m a little bit corny.”
105. “Pumpkin-flavored everything, please.”
106. “My blood type is pumpkin spice.”
107. “Hey there, pumpkin!”
108. “You are gourd-geous!”
109. “Smashing pumpkins isn’t just for rock bands.”
110. “Go big or gourd home.”

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Funny Adult Halloween Quotes

These funny adult Halloween quotes are perfect for adding a cheeky sense of humor to the season.

111. “Trick or tequila?”
112. “Too old for trick-or-treating, but never too old for candy.”
113. “Let’s have some boos with our booze!”
114. “I’ve got 99 problems but a witch ain’t one.”
115. “Drink up, witches!”
116. “I’m here for the boos and booze.”
117. “I’m just here for the boos, literally.”
118. “Hocus pocus and a little bit of focus (on cocktails).”
119. “If you’ve got it, haunt it!”
120. “You can’t scare me, I’ve got wine.”

Fun Halloween Sayings for Cards

If you’re sending out Halloween cards, these fun Halloween sayings for cards will bring laughter and charm to your messages.

121. “Wishing you a spook-tacular Halloween!”
122. “Hope your Halloween is all tricks and treats!”
123. “You’ve been booed!”
124. “Have a fang-tastic Halloween!”
125. “Sending you a hauntingly good time this Halloween!”
126. “Boo to you from our crew!”
127. “Wishing you pumpkin spice and everything nice.”
128. “May your Halloween be full of fun and fright!”
129. “Creepin’ it real this Halloween!”
130. “Stay spooky and enjoy your candy haul!”

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