In a society with pre-defined gender roles, a slight digression from the accepted ‘gender performance’ is an act of rebellion. Because how dare you defile the standard protocols of your gender? How can you be different?
Men often find it hard to express emotions because they’ve grown up in a society that has chanted the mantra of ‘real men don’t cry’ for centuries. Men on Reddit are discussing what they find to be the worst thing about being a man in a world that still abides by the old gender binary and stereotypes.
1. “The general lack of empathy or support. You can do it because you’re a man. I’m drowning on all fronts here, just looking for anything to help.”
2. “Sexual harassment and sexual assaults are usually a joke or not taken remotely serious when you’re a guy. I’ve been sexually harassed and assaulted at work, and told ‘lucky guy!’ Or ‘they’re old enough to be your mother, take it as a compliment’ as if that makes the situation better. In the end, honestly, if you’re a guy and made sexually uncomfortable, it’s too bad so sad, move on.”
3. “The stereotype that all men are pedophiles if they like working with children. Volunteered at the daycare that I went to when I was young for a field day event. One of the mothers there expressed her concern for a male being there around her kids and word got back to me. I was pursuing a degree in early childhood education and dropped out and gave up on that dream because a lot of people thought I was weird or that I must be some sort of pedophile.”
4. “Hair, everywhere, I mean seriously, does it have to come out of my ears?”
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5. “MALE PATTERN BALDNESS.”
6. “My mom died suddenly September, all I’ve wanted is for a friend to give me a hug and be willing to listen. My wife’s girlfriends will, but none of my male friends despite telling them I’m really hurting. Nobody is willing. It fucking sucks.”
7. “Feeling like you can’t open up because of how it always turns out therefore bottling it inside and letting it all out at once thereby making it even worse. And just being told ‘well it will be okay.’ Okay cool, sure, well as the one that it depends on to make it ‘okay’ I kind of need to know how to do that.”
8. “I’m going off the rails here a bit and say that I wish men had as many clothing choices as women do. I mean, when I see a woman in a light, airy summer dress on a hot day, I’m like ‘Here I am in my jeans sweltering and she looks so comfortable!'”
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9. “Never getting compliments.”
10. “Growing up it was expected that we were supposed to ask the ladies out. So if you found yourself as a 25 year old virgin who’d never kissed a girl, it was obviously because you were some kind of loser.”
11. “Having the expectation to always keep my shit together. Being vulnerable is a weakness. Failing is not an option. Provide regardless of the state of your overall health.”
12. “Loneliness.”
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13. “A lot of us just want love but we’re deemed ‘creepy’ if we’re not conventionally attractive. I’ve seen guys with the biggest hearts get s-talked and laughed about because they asked a girl out and got rejected.”
14. “If you’re male and short (like I am) you are seen as weak and not masculine. I’m 5’4 and I can’t count the amount of times I have been told I can’t to a certain type of work because I’m not strong enough.”
