Like the women in movies who set out on a mission to fix a boy from scratch, despite his emotions being sealed tighter than your grandma’s jewellery vault.

Out of the many tropes in Bollywood, the one where a girl enters into a tough guy’s life to replace the fire in his soul with flowers is my favourite. Wait, hear me out. Weren’t movies supposed to be an escape from reality? An emotionally messed up guy getting fundamentally transformed by a love interest is as fictional as becoming friends with a blue-skinned alien.

And if fixing a guy whose mind is conflicted is your idea of a healthy romantic relationship then I’m sorry for criminally butchering that. Emotional unavailability is the pandemic this world needs to talk more about. 

Put your knife down, this isn’t an attempt to villainize men. But getting smitten by guys who have issues—attachment, commitment, communication, and so on—isn’t their issue; it’s ours. 

Perhaps it’s natural to be pulled towards the mystery in someone. But what after you solve the puzzle? A connection can’t last long if it’s only fuelled by intrigue. The relationship (or whatever you call it since there’s no clarity) will demand more energy-physical and emotional- to work out and you being the perpetual giver will feel sucked from the outside and drained from the inside.

Just like in these movies, you see a plot twist in your life too. When everything starts working as f*cking planned! You see them changing, little by little, and you foolishly smile at the thought of their bare minimum effort that’s looming in your memory. Then, when you finally stop trying, you painfully realise that they’ve fallen back to the same inconsistent pattern. And have that ‘ah shit here we go again’ moment. 

Initially, it’ll feel like playing Jenga. You’ll take risks and make big moves with no worries, but later despite your best efforts, everything crumbles because that’s precisely how it works. The funny part is that you knew it right from the start.

The tricky part is that you weren’t tricked into doing this. You were well aware that your efforts won’t be reciprocated yet you signed up for it. Branding your therapist instincts as a romantic approach satiated your inner Tara only to realise that you weren’t ready for the Tamasha.

After a heavy dose of heartache, you finally feel like you’ve been pushing a rock uphill the whole time. Still, if you’re lucky, he’ll know that he gotta fight his own demons and give you a reality check when it’s finally the time to withdraw, but such self-awareness isn’t as common as you think.

Honestly, it’s beautiful to try mending things instead of ending them but it has to come from both sides. Going out of your way for someone who is unable to match your intensity is simply not worth it.  Nobody can fix anyone, except the person themselves. 

No point in running into the wall with plans of getting across when you know you’ll be left with bumps and bruises.

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