India is a nation of deep-rooted cultural values such as arranged marriages, dowry and obsession with fair skin. Of course, we can’t compete with the U.S. because, well, slavery.

Anyway, our match-making techniques range from the most ancient, like ‘ par-dadaji ka vada ‘, to the latest, like ‘Facebook’. Some Indians even go to the extent of dating before marriage. But we won’t talk about them. We understand that marriage is a serious institution and should not be made fun of. Hence, we’ll limit ourselves to matrimonial ads.

Alright then, here we have a compilation of actual ads from the matrimonial section of Indian newspapers, that turned out to be funny because of either dearth of space or basic stupidity. Either way, you have fun.

1. Fitness conscious widower who’s 48 but looks 40!

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2. We believe you.

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3. Gujarati family says H1-VISA no bar. Of course.

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4. Don’t worry. It’s curable.

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5. No mama’s boys please.

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6. ‘Non-veg’ daughter?

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7. Much irony. Such hypocrisy.

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8. Oh, not again!

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9. Asking too much there, aren’t you?

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10. Cool parent is cool.

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11. ” Bulk order de rahe ho kya ?”

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12. ” IIPM se MBA, aur itni saari demands?

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13. He’s in a real hurry.

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14. Because the quality of your Burkha is important.

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If you are planning to put up a matrimonial ad on some newspaper, I suggest you learn from these mistakes, and … don’t.