Do you know what real pain is as a student?
The kind of pain that fills you up with jealousy and confusion.
My question to you if you are or were such a student,
But I never really grasped the idea that how the fuck was your percentage way more than mine? I put in more hours, late nights and went to tuitions for every damn subject. All you did was come home from school and watch TV till it was time to go out and play.
And even after all my dedicated efforts towards scoring good marks, my parents always ended up comparing my report to yours. My constant whining about you never really studying had no impact on them. All they ever said was that why I can’t be as good as you. You were the bane of my existence.
With every year, I despised you a little more. Especially, at the time when we had this extremely difficult chapter in physics in 9th standard and the teacher specifically told us that if we don’t study on a regular basis, we won’t be able to cope up with it.
But like the superstar you were, you somehow managed it. You conveniently procrastinated and put it off till the last minute before the exam was scheduled. While I mugged up the whole chapter every day to perfection, you skimmed through it two days before the exam.
My jealousy knew no bar then. I knew I had to figure out your secret. And that’s how my obsession with you began. My crazy theories about how you manage to be so good at academics without even trying were taking over my life.
Were you an exceptional genius? I had my doubts about that one.
I was so sure that this uber-cool attitude you have towards regularly studying was just a mask you wore to maintain your badass reputation. But in reality, you were just like the rest of us.
My jealousy grew and grew and there was nothing that helped my sanity. Jealousy isn’t a good emotion for an adolescent child. You aren’t mature enough to handle such a complex emotion and it gradually developed into hatred over the years.
And when you topped the history exam with no one even being close to your percentage, I was furious.
How can anyone ace a history exam by remembering tens of thousands of dates in ONE day? Maybe you were just too good a rattu-tota. But I know that if there was something I was the best at, it was mugging up.
That’s when my tuition teacher who knew how troubled I was with your existence explained a simple concept to me.
In my rush to defeat you, I never realised that I was just mugging up every bit of information and never actually tried to understand the basics.
But did that help my beef with you? NOT AT ALL!
So, here I am, still petty, cursing you for ruining school for me.