Malayalis and Bengalis!

So we dug deeper, and came up with a few reasons that possibly explain the bond a Mallu and a Bong share. So, go ahead and read on.

1. Their undying love for macchi aka meen aka fish

The meen curry or the machar jhol, deep fried or steamed, fish is heaven! 

2. They can drink like a fish!

You’ll know one person from either the mallu or the bong community who will keep drinking till the dawn is nigh.

3. And rum for them is elixir

Be it summers or winters, rum toh banta hai boss! And if it’s rum, it has to be the good old, Old Monk.

4. Their craze for football

Football is something that runs quite vigorously in the blood of these comrades. And if it’s Argentina vs Brazil, it’s war! You can see the communities divided when these two champions lock horns.  

5. Their love for the Left and everything associated with it

Laal Salaam is an idea that both these communities associate very strongly with. And Che Guevara is GOD. They have drunk the concoction of Marx and Che, and are extremely touchy when it comes to politics. 

6. One word: Rice

No mallu or bong can go to sleep without their daily dose of rice. Every meal, yes breakfast included, can have a good portion of rice or can at least be made of rice. Rice is life. Rice is staple. Rice is annudaata!

7. And if the rice is served on a banana leaf, then it’s sone pe suhaaga!

Bananas are bountiful, and we have learnt to use every bit of them without even 1% of wastage.

8. Talking about food, your hands are the best cutlery ever

Who needs forks and knives when you are blessed with two beautiful hands to eat? And believe it when a mallu or a bong says that food definitely tastes better. And it’s so much more comfortable.

9. Our love for coconut is unparalleled

Coconut water, coconut oil, coconut milk, grated coconut, sliced coconut, dried coconut, or just coconut. We absolutely love this one fruit. And the world is taking cue, and following our trend. *All mallus and bongs, take a bow.*

10. Payesh or Payassam, both are made in heaven

I told you Mallus and Bongs love their rice, right? And we have a wonderful, wonderful sweet tooth as well. Combine both these awesome things, and you get an exceptional sweet dish that goes by the name of payasam for Mallus and payesh for Bongs.

 11. Pickle is a must

It goes with food, and it goes with the alcohol. And we have a huge variety too- beef pickle, fish pickle, mango pickle, small mango pickle, mussels pickle, prawn pickle (which is essentially fish, but it needs a special mention because it’s yum!)

12. Gold is the best investment

Or at least that’s what all the Mallus and Bongs say while hoarding all the gold. Go to Kerala, and you’ll spot a jewellery shop with every bat of your eyelid. 

13. Their love for beautiful sarees

Festival or not, Mallu and Bong women love their sarees. And if it’s the traditional Kasavu or the laal paar saree, then all the more wonderful! And trust me, these ladies know their style, and are undeniably the best when it comes to carrying a saree with utmost grace.

14. They know their music 

Be it Manna Dey or Yesudas, The Doors or Janis Joplin, new or old, pop or rock, Bengalis and Malayalis are crazy music fans, and most of them happen to have a kick-ass collection too.

15. Their crazy love for literature 

Try quizzing them on writers, quotes or anything related to literature, they’ll ace that shizz. If you want a good book recommendation, then just run to your Malayali or Bengali friend. 

16. Chai is BAE

Chai in the morning. Chai with breakfast. Chai before lunch. Chai at 4PM  (very important). Chai in the evening. Mallus and Bongs love their tea. And if it’s fresh brewed on the roadside, then all the more awesome. There’s something special about the thele wali chai!

17. Their penchant for intellectual debates

What do you get when you put a Malayali and a Bengali in one room? Heated debates and arguments on everything and anything. They can go on and on about the most non-debatable topic. They’ll be at loggerheads, but they’ll still agree to disagree. 

18. Hartaals can be announced anytime, anywhere

If you’re in their hometown, then you need to prepare yourself for the worst. Because these two communities love protesting, and to make their voices heard, they will not hesitate for a complete lock down. And this is aankhon dekhi, not failed deductions from a phony research. 

19. Festivals are all about grandeur

We believe in traditions, and culture is an integral part of who we are. And when Malayalis and Bengalis celebrate, it’s done with full grandeur. With fireworks abound, and the Gods and Goddesses dressed to celebrate, the twin communities love their festivals. Be it Thrissurpooram or Durga Pujo, everything is grand, bright and absolutely perfect.

20. Last but definitely not the least: language

Their love for the mother tongue is unprecedented. Most Malayalis and Bengalis at least know how to speak their respective language. You probably know this if you have Mallu or Bong friends who will break out in their language when excited or bitching about something, and all you’ll get is a lot of gibberish. 

There you go, have fun tagging your Malayali and Bengali friends who endlessly eat your heads with communism, good music, and what not.