Times change, and the main thing most guys are doing to keep up with this change is shaving the sides of their heads, slicking back the top and then turning into DJs… but that’s not the point. Guys with long hair have to face a constant barrage of social commentary and as such should be granted a minority status and protection. If you are a guy with long hair, this is what you have to deal with –
1. ” Abbe hip-pie! “
Most commonly heard while you’re driving down the street just minding your own business. If you happen to spot the person who said it, just flash them a peace sign, that always works.
2. ” Dekh Bob Marley aa gaya! “
Said by LITERALLY everyone, even three year olds! (They grow up so fast…)
3.” Itni garmi mein bhi?! “
Well yeah, It’s a way of life, It’s a part of my personality… It’s also mostly laziness.
4.”Bro, you smoke na? Not cool…”
Hearing this from people you’ve met literally 2 seconds ago and watching them do that little victory dance with their eyes is always amusing.
5. “Excuse me, madam?”
If anyone calls you “madam”, just treat them to 30 lashes by your luscious locks. That’ll set them right.
6.”Look, it’s Jesus!”
When this happens, and it definitely will happen, just tie your hair up and voila! No more second coming.
7. “If you put your hair in front of your face you’ll look exactly like Pritam and then we can take a selfie!”
People are strange.
8.”Your hair is longer than mine! Let me give you a makeover!” – Girl
Many girls will say this to you. Be firm and refuse… unless it’s a mohawk.
9. “You looked so serious and scary until I spoke to you…”
I knew I should’ve just kept my mouth shut!
10. ” Kaatne ka time aa gaya. “
Why would you just start deciding things for other people?!
11. “How do you manage your hair?!”
I don’t.
12. ” Yeh reshmi zulfein, yeh sharbati aankhein… “
You know the gender roles have been reversed when your girlfriend sings this to you while you dance among the daffodils.
13. ” Abbe ladki hai kya? “
That would be one ugly ladki. This question forces you to indulge in indecent exposure just to prove that you are indeed a man.
14. ” Bhaisaab, baal mooh mein aa raha hai! “
Screamed by irate co-passengers in autos.
15. Jungli/ Mowgli/Baba Ramdev ke bachhe!
Nice.