Not dating is a fascinating state of being because suddenly everyone around you seems to be in a relationship. Their mush is more annoying and their love posts hit harder. Especially on Valentine’s Day (ask me, I have years of experience).
And how to get over it? There are some very easy steps. I have made a list of 50 things you can do on Valentine’s Day if you’re single. Take a shot every time you read ‘cry’.
1. Cry.
2. Get ghosted on Hinge again.
3. Watch ‘50 First Dates’ for the 51st time. Alone.
4. Go through Instagram stories of couples and sulk.
5. Fake interest when your friend tells you how great their date was.
6. Stock up on tissues.
7. Get some flowers. Watch them die.
8. Wipe dust from your desk how God wiped romance from your life.
9. Order food for two, eat leftovers the next morning.
10. Watch Tom Cruise movies to make up for the lack of action in your life.
11. Cry again.
12. Text your crush, get left on read.
13. Play ‘Channa Mereya’ on loop.
14. Figure out a way to use V-Day discounts.
15. Do app hopping.
16. Hug yourself, hold your own hand.
17. Look at memes for 5 hours straight.
18. Stare at the ceiling.
19. Count stars.
20. Ask yourself ‘why do we exist?’.
21. Cry some more.
22. Read all of Baba Sehgal’s tweets.
23. Cuddle with your teddy bear. Wait… you don’t even have a teddy bear.
24. Spend time thinking about the wiper Pooja broke in Bigg Boss.
25. Watch YouTube videos of people acting like dolphins.
Human dolphin from r/gifs
26. Talk to the walls.
27. Check WhatsApp DPs of all your contacts.
28. See what your ex’s partner’s ex is up to.
29. Plan your wedding because there’s no tax on dreaming.
30. Trade your dignity to third wheel during an intimate date.
31. Realise that you have stopped crying. Begin again.
32. Scare pigeons on your balcony.
33. Sleep at 9 PM.
34. Try to contact Sima Tapadia.
35. Try to figure out who is Rakhi Sawant’s husband.
36. Wonder if you can recreate the Valentine’s Day ritual from F.R.I.E.N.D.S, without friends.
37. Dance to Cardi B’s WAP in your stained pyjamas.
38. Notice the tears have dried on your face and cry about it again.
39. Panic call your mother and tell her “pandit bulalo, main shaadi karega”.
40. Think about that guy in your DMs who wants to do fraandship with you. Do you think he found a fraand?
41. Watch The Notebook, Notting Hill and Titanic. And cry. Again.
42. File a petition for Singles’ Day to be celebrated.
43. Stalk that person who was an almost relationship.
44. Do a makeup tutorial cause f*ck Valentine’s Day!
45. Wonder if the people who married inanimate objects are happy.
46. Play online ludo with strangers.
47. Update your CV.
48. Play Among Us and try to flirt with the impostor before they kill you.
49. Try to wink at yourself in the mirror with just one eye.
50. Try to decipher if Ross and Rachel were really on a break.
