Some things in life do not work in the realm of logic. Case in point: the many wonderful products thoughtfully offered by Indian teleshopping networks. They are often backed by elaborate  ‘scientific’ workings. Not to mention, they’re shockingly expensive, which they very emphatically assure you is a lot lesser than the actual price. And then they show their decency by warning you about similar fake products in the market. When you watch their demo videos, you are really tempted to ask, “Why?” but for the sake of your own sanity, kindly refrain.

I decided to be optimistic and look at the silver lining here. That’s when I realized that you can find alternate uses for these products! The day has been saved! You’re welcome.

1. Morning Walker

Alternate Use: Alarm Clock

Better than that irritating beep beep beep .

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2. Nazar Raksha Kavach

Alternate Use: Coloured Contact Lens

Here’s your chance to be the blue-eyed beauty and you’re also nazar-proof!

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3. Yoko Height Gain Soles

Alternate Use: Pervert Repellent

Paste to the palms of your hand and use spikey side to slap perverts.

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4. Roller Slide Exerciser Wheel

Alternate Use: Roti Maker

Unless you want to break your nose exercising with it, this monster wheel works better rolling out chapattis in interesting shapes.

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5. Slim Sauna Belt

Alternate Use: Toilet Seat Warmer

Now you can bravely use the loo during cold, cold winters.

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6. Air Lounge Inflatable Mattress

Alternate Use: Trampoline

Win.

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7. Slim Fit Oil

Alternate Use: Cooking Oil

Slim Fit can cut down all those flabs instantly. What’s going to happen if you eat it?

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8. Bio Magnetic Health Bracelet

Alternate Use: Fancy Dog Collar

Sup Dawg!

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9. Roop Amrit Fairness Solution

Alternate Use: Clothes Whitener

Better than Tide and Ujjala.

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10. Breast Massager Firm Line

Alternate Use: Buddy for lonely hamster

Wouldn’t your furry little friend love a friend?

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11. Lipodress Flab Trimmer

Alternate Use: Handkerchief

Hankys are so mainstream. Won’t it be nice to lend a Lipodress to someone who’s crying?

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12. Slim Lift Shaping Gear

Alternate Use: Space Suit

Because space suits are so not Best Fashion .

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Anyone’s Birthday coming up?