Here are 10 of those stereotypes that are absolutely, completely true:

1. We love our fish.

Yes, Bengali cuisine is diverse. There is so much more to offer than just fish. But nothing can ever supplement the gaping fish-shaped hole in the hearts of the Bengali clan. Fish is king, fish is the lord and saviour, fish is the supreme deity. And if you’re a non-fish-consuming Bengali like me, you’re an abomination to the Bengali name. 

2. We love rice.

The most loyal companion to fish is rice. Fuck rotis. 

3. We love nap time.

Why don’t you consume obscene proportions of rice and try to keep your eyes open? No matter what part of the planet they are in, every Bengali gets hit with a wave of drowsy nostalgia around lunchtime. Those who are lucky, enjoy a blissful siesta. 

4. We love aloos in our biriyani.

Kolkata Biriyani is the best Biriyani. That’s not even a stereotype, that’s just a fact. Potato and mutton go hand in hand in the fragrant rice and their scrumptious symphony generates a lustful burst of flavour. Biriyani without aloo is just meat pulao and biriyani without both is a blasphemy. 

5. We have two names.

And 9/10 times, the two have no correlation whatsoever. Why? So our moms can have some variety when they’re mad at us. Yelling using daak naam = she’s mildly pissed. Yelling using your real name = a volcanic eruption is incoming.

6. We love our 6:00 PM cha time. 

Typically an average Bengali consumes around 5-6 cups of cha per day. Cha, not chai. But this phenomenon is at its peak around early to mid-evening when you’ll find everyone from young first-years to middle-aged office men hurdled up around various tea stalls, engrossed in intellectual conversations and spirited debates about politics, literature and whose butt is the cutest. 

7. We love our street food!

Phuchka > gol gappa > paani puri. Not an opinion, but a hard fact. Fight me on this. 

8. We eat non-veg during Pujo.

A Pujo without mutton and fish is no Pujo at all. But we do compromise one of the days and eat veg on Oshtomi. It’s the worst. 

9. We love our gelucil.

Half of this article was about food. After all this eating, do you think our stomachs are fine? Also, can we talk about the post gelucil burps?

10. We have all been to Puri atleast once in our lives.

Yep. It’s the Bengali equivalent of Goa. Every year, tons of Bengalis invade the beaches like a swarm of bees and leave behind their sorrows and heaping piles of trash.

You guys, this was all in jest. Please don’t attack me and definitely do not stigmatize!!