Signboards are usually a very dull affair. “Don’t do this.” “Please do that.” “Go Slow/Go Fast.” But of course, this is India. The signboards have to be as crazy, weird and awesome as the country itself. Here are just a few.

1. “CAUTION! All Girls high School Ahead. Walk really freaking slowly.”

2. “Spend freely. You’ll learn how to earn automatically.”

3. “Please don’t turn the monkeys into beggars. It is illegal to feed the monkeys.”

4. “Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. Please use Gubbara (Condom).”

5. Here’s an Indian telling it how it is.

6. “Timings for kissing in the park are as follows:

Morning: 5 a.m. to 8 a.m.

Evening: 5 a.m. to 8 p.m.”

7. “Getting your dog to poop in front of your neighbor’s house is strictly prohibited. – RWA”

8. Looks like someone trolled the Hyderabad Police.

9. “No parking. Or else, penchar .”

10. “Emraan Haraami.

11. “This place is being monitored by CCTV cameras. Those who spit here will be beaten mercilessly. Then, they will be punished.”

12. “Peeing is prohibited here. If caught, the person will be insulted and disgraced.”

13. Classy…

14. “Pay 5 Rupees for address inquiries.”

15. “Please don’t make offerings/donations here. This is a private temple. God gives us money in the first place. So don’t try to bribe God.”

16. “Please wait after ringing the bell. The guy who’ll help you will come walking. He can’t really fly.”

17. Guess there will be no bargaining here.

18. “Drink Jagodhari, you will get bravery.”

19. Okay. There is no way I can translate this without taking the fun out. But there could be no better sign off than this.