Your parents proved a point every time they rewarded you for finishing your greens. The compensation was not needed if it was an enjoyable experience to start with, right? We make the same point by ranking the worst vegetables according to taste.
Although it looks like a totally subjective piece, this is not at all a work of fiction. I have taken into account some really authentic (looking) polls around the world. I asked my family and friends and strangers on the road. I acquired expert opinion from grocery vendors and top chefs. I roamed around the city extensively, on foot, to collect this data. Only then did I disregard all of this completely to come up with my own list. Take a look!
Rank 13. Patta Gobhi / Cabbage
Your first clue is in the name. It’s called patta for a reason. Spare it for the cattle, they’re starving!
Rank 12. Paalak / Spinach
I love Popeye, but I will never forgive him for glamorizing something that looks and tastes like that. Moreover, too much iron can kill you.
Rank 11. Brocolli
Looks like a miniature tree. The mere reason of its existence is to ruin Italian/Spanish cuisine for people with desi taste buds.
Rank 10. Kaddu / Pumpkin
Most used in the phrase “Kaddu ho payega ye tumse!”, it is sometimes misused in curry and even sweets. Americans were so freaked out by it, they made it the brand ambassador of Halloween.
Rank 9. Lobhia / Black-eyes peas
Looks are deceptive! These innocent looking things taste nothing like peas. In fact, they are sometimes called the scariest beans in the world. Plus, they can’t play any music.
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Rank 8. Mooli / Radish
Again. Look a lot like carrots, but the taste will disappoint you. Primarily used to produce gas and ruin salad. Some strange people go as far as using radish leaves in food. ‘Junta maaf nahi karegi’
Rank 7. Band Gobhi / Brussels Sprout
Known lovingly, but not rightly, as Baby cabbage. It beats daddy in bad taste, hands down.
Rank 6. Shalgam / Turnip
Turnips were so ashamed of their taste, that they never came out of the ground. But humans rooted them out and ate them. And then paid the price. Learn your lesson already! STOP THE MADNESS!
Rank 5. Turai / Ridged Gourd
Turai is not just a name, it’s a warning! How can you put something called turai in your mouth, I dare ask?
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Rank 4. Parwal / Pointed Gourd
Another criminal from the gourd family, the only point of eating this thing is torture. Its seeds look alarmingly like frog eyes and make a weird sound when chewed. Ahh.. the horror!
Rank 3. Tinda / Apple Gourd
The deadliest gourd among them all , it looks like a little green hairy apple and tastes like fear.
Rank 2. Kareila / Bitter Gourd
Runner up for the title is yet another gourd, possibly the most known one. Bitter gourd lives up to its name completely. It is used as a healthy punishment for kids.
Rank 1. Phool Gobhi / Cauliflower
Winner of the competition, which was really no competition for it at all. Gobhi grows in manure made out of human excreta, its rife with pests and insects, it looks nothing like a flower and smells of treason! Clear choice! Picture mein kalank ke nishaan dekh lijiye!
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Do not be disheartened if your favorite veggie did not make the cut. There are more lists.
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