Just like every good horror flick needs a sequel, articles that give you A1 advice on surviving the paranormal, need a sequel too. Two months later, and devouring a number of classics again, we have a few more life-saving bits of advice that will make sure you don’t get butchered by the otherworldly.
1. If you get lost driving down a road in the middle of nowhere, never take a detour you’re not sure of.
There’s a 9/10 chance that it’ll lead you to a killer’s cabin.
2. If you come across a crusty old leather bound book, DO NOT TOUCH IT!
Sell it on OLX and make some mad bucks instead.
3. Never go down the attic with just a candle or even worse, a matchstick.
That’s what the demon wants you to do. Outsmart the demon with a glowstick.
4. Your four-year-old should not know how to speak Latin.
It can barely even poop properly.
5. Never answer a knock on the door when it’s the middle of the night.
If you’re having hot and steamy sex in the middle of the night and you hear a frantic knock, there are two possibilities – Bajrang Dal is at your door or a crazy psychopath wants to decorate the living room wall with your severed head.
6. Make sure to practice cardio regularly.
You’ll thank yourself when a kid runs after you with a butcher’s knife.
7. Beware of highly-acrobatic kids.
If your kid gets his or her body into all kinds of weird positions, there are two possibilities – they recently discovered Baba Ramdev, or they have been possessed. Either way, contact the local priest.
8. You might want to consider taking down the bathroom mirror as ghosts are known to make unexpected appearances behind you.
If you can’t see them, you won’t be sacred.
9. Letting your kids play Candy Crush is better than letting them play hide and seek in a very old house.
10. Never pick up hitchhikers because you never know where they’ll lead you.
There’s an 8/10 chance that they’ll lead you to be slaughtered by a chainsaw-wielding maniac so they both can eat you for dinner.
11. If you’re compelled to wander around a creepy house, cemetery, or a wooded area, make sure that you bring along a weapon.
Flashlights don’t count and you can’t possibly defeat a demon with just your fists.
12. If you walk around with a camera trying to record something unusual, it’s not going to end well for you.
13. If there’s a haunted legend about the new place that you just moved in to, burn it and claim all the insurance money.
It would have ended up that way anyway.
14. Not all clowns are entertainers.
In the words of Anand Kumar, “Saavdhan rahe satark rahe.”
GIFs have been sourced from Giphy.
