20 Things We Think Are A Woman’s Responsibility But, They Actually Are Not

Anjali Awasthi

Saying we live in an equal society & things are changing for women is a dream people live in who are blinded by patriarchy.

There’s a lot to discuss, how it’s not a woman’s responsibility to take care of everything. From emotional labour to physical labour, women are expected to take it all and keep everyone happy.  

This thread about ‘what is something people think is a woman’s responsibility, but isn’t’ is just a perfect example of how much more we need to change. 

1. “People think it’s the only woman that should practice being sexually responsible and not men for some reason. They have a million excuses, mainly the “spread their seed bullshit” “Nah you’re just irresponsible with your seed lol.”

Answer Source- Reddit

2. “Definitely all the intellectual and emotional labour that goes into running a household. Planning all the parties, making all the arrangements with family, organising all the cleaning and shopping, etc. Like, I already have a full-time job. I don’t have the time to also be my husband’s PA.”

Answer Source- Reddit

3. “Finishing a man off once the sex starts. Nope. I am allowed to stop any time I want, for any reason I want, or for no reason at all. “Blue balls” is not an excuse for sexual coercion/manipulation, particularly since masturbation is always an option.”

Answer Source- Reddit

4. “Making men feel good about themselves. Fuck that shit. They can stroke their own ego and dick.”

Answer Source- Reddit

5. “Women with daddy issues getting shit on for having daddy issues while those dads barely get a peep of backlash. Single moms with deadbeat dads getting shit on from society for having a child with a deadbeat while the deadbeat carries on his merry life.”

Answer Source- Reddit

6. “Looking after their spouses, how they behave and look. I’ve often heard comments, both from men and women, towards women such as “how come you let your husband go out in that messy outfit?” implying it’s her responsibility to dress him up and that she’s not a good wife if she doesn’t do that. Men are never responsible for their behavior. When they mess up, their spouses feel responsible while the men are like boys will be boys.”

Answer Source- Reddit

7. “Striving to be attractive to the male gaze. Pretty isn’t a rent women pay to take up space on the planet.”

Answer Source- Reddit

8. “Taking notes at any work meeting!’

Answer Source- Reddit

9. “Cleaning, cooking, having children, raising children, looking after their spouse, everything related to the family.”

Answer Source- Reddit

10. “Not sure if this counts but breastfeeding. I did not produce milk after my baby and I felt like everyone shamed me for it! What if I breastfeed, to breastfeed, to begin with? Why am I made to be an evil mother because I chose formula?” 

Answer Source- Reddit

11. “Keeping secrets. Women are expected to “keep up appearances” and pretend everything is fine in their relationship, even when it’s not. We’re told “don’t rock the boat,” even when that means protecting an abuser in the family. We are admonished to think of the impact a rape accusation will have on a young man’s life. And when a guy decides to get back together with his ex, the woman he’s been sleeping with is expected to just disappear quietly to protect the relationship.”

Answer Source- Reddit

12. “Almost everything. Nothing is just a woman’s responsibility. Everything is everyone’s responsibility. Housework? Everyone lives in the house. Everyone should help take care of it. Birth control? It takes TWO people (generally speaking) to make a baby last time I checked. Child care? Again, it takes two. There’s literally nothing a woman does (outside of natural childbirth, which isn’t a responsibility, to begin with) that a man can’t also do.”

Answer Source- Reddit

13. “Planning her life around a man she’s never met, and who may not even exist, and who isn’t culturally expected to do likewise for her. Changing her life goals to suit his desires. Making everyone else happy.”

Answer Source- Reddit

14. “Carrying the whole mental load in relationships/families. It is so common that there are even jokes about dads not remembering their own kids’ birthdays. My dad mixed up my last birthday with my sisters last year and I’m 20 and as a kid, he’d call my mother when he needed my last 4 digits. He didn’t take the time to remember them himself. The wife shouldn’t have to remember every detail, every event, doctor’s appointment, even what chores need to be done.”

Answer Source- Reddit

15. “Taking on the man’s name when getting married. I chose to add my husbands’ name and have two last names and now get mail with Mrs. Husband’s last name. I find it amusing but some people find it really weird.”

Answer Source- Reddit

16. “Along with the other fertility comments: Giving birth to the sex/gender the dad is hoping for women have literally died because of something that was up to the man’s body.”

Answer Source- Reddit

17. “My dad is hoping a woman will come along and ‘fix’ my brother. Suddenly make him ambitious, more confident, basically shove a foot up his ass, etc. And I was told my standards were too high. It always pissed me off.”

Answer Source- Reddit

18. “Buying gifts, sending cards/thank you notes. I know it’s a small thing but in every relationship, it’s been presumed I’ll do it because I’m a woman. I hate it and I suck at it.”

Answer Source- Reddit

19. “The real question is what people think isn’t a woman’s responsibility? The list will be muuuuch shorter.”

Answer Source- Reddit

20. “Dressing “decent” to avoid being sexualized This one drives me crazy!! No, my low-cut shirt does not give you the right to say a sexually explicit comment about my breasts. It’s almost 100 degrees out and heavy-chested women like me shouldn’t HAVE to cover up and sweat profusely just because you cannot contain your sexual desire for a stranger’s breast. Like, you don’t even know me like that.”

Answer Source- Reddit

Also read: 6 Times The World Thought It Was Okay To Not Give Women The Credit They Deserved.

You might also like
All Social Media Is Draining But LinkedIn Exhaustion Is As Real As It Can Get
Queenfisher Is Embodying The Spirit of Sisterhood And We’re Here For It!
Here Are Some Facts About Cervical Cancer ‘Cos It’s Important We Talk About It The Right Way
Top 15 Largest Red Light Areas In India: Explore Near Your Location
Thanks To The Period Dialogue In ‘Animal’, A Man Is Telling Women That Four Pads A Month Is Enough
The Equation Between Sara, Kareena & Amrita Proves Yet Again That Women Are NOT Each Other’s Enemies