For some reason, women are expected to enjoy the idea of motherhood, and the time attached to it. Since giving birth and raising a child is considered to be a beautiful thing, we hardly ever talk about what it does to women’s physical and mental health. This is when women actually choose being mothers. So the fact that pregnancies can be tough, is almost ignored, because we are expected to find the beauty.
The experiences, on the other hand, are more realistic and hence not-so-beautiful every time. Here’s what women who have been through it have to say:
1. “In the first few weeks of lactation, hearing a baby cry would trigger my breasts to leak. Not just my baby, any baby. Made for some really awkward moments in public.”
2. “That sometimes the baby WILL kick your bladder and you WILL piss yourself, no warning at all. Also in the last trimester sometimes the baby will seem to flip around and throw you off balance. My last month I had zero balance and randomly pissed my pants awesome.”
3. “When your water breaks, it a disgusting feeling. At least it was for me. It did not break like a huge gush, it broke like a trickle. I actually thought I was peeing on myself so I went to the restroom. But it wouldn’t stop and it was clear so I knew.”
– Noellani
4. “The fear. There is no way to prepare for the pain. You KNOW it’s going to hurt, but nobody can describe it. Just the fear of the unknown – especially in the last few weeks and days.”
5. “I wish someone had told me how common pregnancy loss is. No one talks about miscarriages until you have one. Then all of a sudden absolutely everyone has lost a pregnancy. I think it would have hurt less if I had known that it was a very real possibility, estimated at something like 1/5 apparently. Sorry to be such a downer.”
– temp9876
6. “One thing nobody told me is that premature labor can happen at anytime. I went into premature labor at 5 months. It was the most painful experience of my life. Unfortunately for us, our son was born sleeping.”
7. “Besides peeing every twenty minutes, even after you have kids, pregnancy affects your ability to hold pee. It’s like your bladder is permanently weak. Sometimes I laugh or sneeze and pee a little just like I did when I was preggers. Also, losing all your hair.”
8. “Pimples. I had a major break out almost monthly during my 1st and 2nd trimesters.”
9. “The heartburn. Dear God, the heartburn! The months of trying to sleep sitting up with rolls of tums clutched in my hand. No matter how I tried to change my diet or the times I ate – nothing helped much. It was awful.”
10. “The first thing that changed was making milk highways. when I was about 8 weeks my small chest started to hurt really badly, like burning! So sore. Also, I breastfed for a year and 4 months and if you want to do it you have to push yourself because its gross and leaky and you may get stopped up if fat in your milk clogs you up.”
– gypsynip
It’s not all good, and not all bad. But it’s not okay if we dismiss realistic experiences just because they are supposed to be profound according to society.