If you follow fashion trends, then you know, these bejeweled dainty little wrap arounds on our necks, are back in vogue. From celebrities to major style icons to ordinary mortals, everyone is flaunting it with aplomb.
But a recent article, we came across on Mamamia by Clare Stephens, has highlighted something highly problematic with the trend that has nothing to do with fashion. The article reads,
“Sitting at the dinner table, one of my brothers asked whether I knew what men thought when I wore a choker. ‘Ummm, no,’ I responded, assuming men had approximately zero opinions about my jewellery choices. He explained that among guys, there’s a joke that women who wear chokers are “sluts.”
Some men, presumably are associating chokers with something sexual. That women who wear it are promiscuous and submissive sluts. And it ultimately boils down to the larger debate of constant policing of everything women wear, by men.
Here are a few gems we found on the internet.
I personally, love the trend and have been wearing it a lot lately. And I will be honest, a few of my friends have often said, it reminded them of BDSM. Does wearing a choker mean a woman is attracting attention? This piece of accessory is now suddenly something provocative?
There is way too much pressure on us, ladies. From how we dress to the way we behave. We are under constant scrutiny, and no, it is not easy. Our clothes don’t define us, our chosen lifestyle, our choices, are solely ours and no one has the right to dictate terms.
As the article rightly points out,
Chokers are just one example of the infinite number of decisions and behaviours women make that leave us stuck. Wearing them makes us sex objects, and not wearing them makes us oppressed. We’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t. Men just aren’t victims to the same struggle. On the face of it, men’s perception of chokers might seem like a very inconsequential issue. But it’s not.What their conversations about women’s jewellery choices represents is that our bodies don’t belong to us.
Choker does not mean ‘Choke her’ or a woman wearing one is not a ‘whore’.
Yes, this almost ridiculous and unwarranted attention that chokers are getting, for all the wrong reasons, veers back to the good old debate of how women wearing risqué clothes are ‘asking for it’. That ‘oh, she wore a tank top, she deserved to be raped’ mindset, is enraging and outrageous. Especially coming from those who have worn ties around their necks for decades.
A woman may choose to wear WHATEVER she wants, only because it is her choice. We put on our clothes and wear what we like, not for attention but for ourselves.