With fame comes a huge burden of filtering away negative things and people. If you are a Bollywood star or even remotely connected to one, you’re going to be hounded by the paparazzi and the gossip columns are going to write all kind of things about you. Fans and people you don’t know are going to judge you and say terrible things about the way you look, the way you speak and will scrutinise every little thing you say, do and wear.
Recently, the popular Bollywood website- Missmalini did a piece, covering Pooja Bedi’s daughter, Aalia Ebrahim. The article had Instagram embeds of Aalia’s personal photos. The article in itself was harmless and did not objectify Aalia in any way. But the moment the article went live, it received a grievous amount of hate, with random people judging the girl by her clothes and on the amount of skin she showed.
Most of the people when faced with such hate choose to avoid making a statement, but Aalia chose otherwise. She wrote a perfect response to all the hate she received for her clothes, to which every girl who has ever being judged by the amount of skin she shows will relate to.
She wrote:
“If my cleavage is visible, it does not mean I am giving consent, it does not mean I am ‘asking for it’. I am more than my breasts and it is unfair to let them define me. I am an eighteen year old Indian girl and that does not take away the fact that I am allowed to dress the way I please. I wouldn’t judge or disrespect a woman in a burkha, salwaar kameez or sari, and I deserve the same respect back. I am not my breasts and it is unfair to sexualise me and base my morals, my achievements and my goals and ambitions on my breasts. I am not my breasts. If my top is a little low, it does not mean I am a ‘randi’. If I choose to wear a bikini, it is my choice and it is about time we grow up and let individuals be their own people without fearing what society will say.”
Every word she says is exactly the words that float in our heads when someone judges us by the clothes we wear. Neither a woman nor a man is defined by the clothes they wear and we need to realize this fact sooner than later. The things that have been drilled into our heads since time immemorial are wrong and we need to change it.
She also added:
“When you walk down the street and have men mentally undressing you and harassing you, you enabled that. You are unintentionally telling your sons, brothers and husbands that a woman’s breasts define her. You are teaching your daughters that they are just as worthy as the amount of clothes they have on their body. We are more and we deserve more. I am more and I deserve more. As a man, when your wife is scared to walk down the road at night, or you’re hesitant to let your daughters or sisters go somewhere alone, you perpetuated that. You allowed that to happen. When you curse at men for unforgivable crimes like rape, you have contributed to a mindset that makes it morally ambiguous.“
All of us are responsible for every sleazy comment a girl receives, because the moment you judge a girl, you are empowering others to do so. You are saying that it’s okay and that she probably deserves it. Well, nobody deserves to be judged no matter who they are, what they wear and what they do.