The conversations around sex have been a taboo across the world, which results in a serious lack of education and understanding about it. The absence of the right kind of information leaves both, men and women, with severe anxiety and stress. In fact, it has been reported that 60% of men avoid sex due to performance anxiety.
While sex is still a hush-hush topic in our society, many people have come out and shared valuable information to help others. In this article, we have compiled some tips for men who face sexual performance anxiety. Read on.
1. “Start slower and work your way up to sex. Don’t penetrate, just find other ways to orgasm. This can actually be better for her sometimes as the male partner is forced to focus more on what brings her pleasure.” –MarriedLife7
2. “Cardio is your best friend. Running, bicycle or whatever you like. Ever since I started running, I have never had an issue with performance anxiety. I’m 38.” –highpasserby
3. “It doesn’t make you less manly to wait to have sex. If you don’t feel it’s right, just don’t do it. Stay in your safe zone until you feel the desire to take a step out of it. Communicate that you’re not ready and want to take things slow if this is how you feel.” –oopiex
4. Most often, this problem is caused because you’re stressed. But why are you stressed? You’ll need to do some inner thinking to answer that. Talking to supportive people and therapy are also a good solution to help you understand things. Mindfulness and meditation might be extremely helpful. Choose what feels right for you.” –oopiex
5. “Be honest and share your concerns before getting sexual – I feel this really helps me feel safe with women. With my most recent partner, after a few dates, she invited me over. While we were half naked in her bed, I told her I was not ready for penetrative sex and talked to her about my performance anxiety, she responded very positively and assured me it was ok.” –oopiex
6. “While your anxiety can take control of your erection, it probably won’t control your finger or tongue performance. Try to master your foreplay and oral game. Once your partner enjoys herself, especially if she reaches orgasm, you’ll probably care less about your performance later.” –oopiex
7. “This has happened to me. What I have learned is to accept and embrace it. The hard-on will come in time. Don’t rush it. Let nature take its course. In the meantime, use your fingers and mouth to pleasure her. I’ve always found that my biggest turn-on is when I sense my partner is getting turned on.” –refreshing_username
8. “I had this same problem. Leave sex off the table, like just make out and fool around and say we are not having sex. Once you are totally comfortable with that, you will hopefully be able to initiate it. Eventually, you will build your confidence up. It’s most likely performance anxiety where you are scared you won’t fulfill her needs or something.” –Anonymous
9. “Before, during and after you do the deed, talk about it. You should know what your partner wants well ahead of time. Not only is talking about sex a turn-on for a lot of people, but it’ll help establish boundaries, and it will help you figure out what your partner likes and dislikes.” –Anonymous
10. “Foreplay and giving her oral before anything else helped me out. After making sure she feels good and gets off, it doesn’t really matter what happens after that or how well you perform.” –Bird_Waterboarder
11. “Going to the gym on leg day boosts your testosterone. Also, focus on body sensations and take it slow. Don’t worry about the finish line.” –Anonymous
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12. “Pop a Viagra an hour before you think you are going to have sex. It breaks the cycle of anxiety issues.” –Aurin316
13. “If you’re jerking off, stop. This problem gets in your head. You worry that it’s going to happen and boom, it happens. You need a string of ‘strong’ performances to stop worrying about it. You will get past this.” –Anonymous
14. “Go to therapy – it helps so much. Sounds like you need to unpack some stuff. Most likely a lot of anxiety around sex is due to some weird situations with previous partners. Lay it all out for her, tell her what’s going on in your head (the embarrassment), and tell her that you’re trying to do better. In the meantime, fingers and sex toys are your friends. You can have a perfectly happy sex life with no penetration for the time being.” –Scary–Area1780
15. “Get your shit together in terms of taking care of yourself. Work out, stop smoking and eat better. It’ll boost your confidence and it’s long overdue anyway.” –imathrowyaaway
Disclaimer: The answers on this thread should not be considered medical advice. People experiencing sexual health and performance issues should seek professional help.