As a twenty-first-century member of the Gen-Z clan, I occasionally find myself on dating apps struggling to keep my head above water in the quest for love. Each time, I’m thoroughly amazed at how spectacularly horrible men are at online dating.
Men, if you are reading this, please take notes. Your real personality is getting foreshadowed by pseudo-red-blooded jargon and a flurry of pointless words that mean nothing. Let me give you some pointers on how you can double your matches and not come across as a complete sociopath!
Let’s start with pictures:
1. Put on a shirt, please.
It’s great that you have abs, I’m sure you worked hard for them! But, you don’t need to shove it in our faces via dim-lit bathroom selfies or topless gym flexing pictures where you can visibly see people judging you in the background. Not only is the whole move tacky and makes you appear as a narcissistic egomaniac, but it also sheds light upon a massive double standard in the world of dating apps. If a woman were to do the same, she would be banned in a second.
2. Press pause on the selfies.
A good rule of thumb? No more than two selfies on your dating profile. Any more signifies that you are obsessed with your own vanity and in turn self-conceited. For pictures, stick to natural photos with organic poses.
3. Group photos are cool, but in moderation.
Like any walk of life, a healthy balance is key while crafting your profile. While group photos are great since they demonstrate that you are a social being capable of maintaining solid friendships, an overload of them makes it hard for your potential match to pinpoint who you are. You don’t want your prospective swipee to zoom in on a pixelated picture and squint her eyes out to identify you, because 9/10 times it means a quick left swipe. Stick with group pictures of four people or less so it’s clear who you are. Also, space out the group photos by adding solo images in between.
4. Smile, you’re on camera!
Drab, expressionless photos make you look like a robot. Now when I say smile, I don’t mean a creepy Joker-esque inverted grin. Use images where you’re having fun and genuinely enjoying the moment. Happiness translates on camera. Smiling in photos helps you to be perceived as more friendly and approachable.
5. Action shots are your best bet.
Images that capture you performing some sort of activity are a great conversation starter and show your true, most authentic self. Think pictures of you swimming, hiking, binging on pizzas, some famous landmarks etc.
Moving on to the bios:
6. Don’t skip it.
Empty bios make you come across as a catfish. If you aren’t willing to share some basic information about yourself, it’s going to be perceived as a massive red flag. You’ve put so much effort with your pictures, now support it with some text!
7. Enough with the cliches, FFS.
I can’t believe I have to spell it out, but you would be shocked at how many people get it wrong. Stop writing shit phrases like “sapiosexual” (= unless you’re really hot, then I don’t care how dumb you are) or “can you keep up” (= I’m a huge bitch). These maxims literally translate to “I’m unoriginal and can’t handle simple day-to-day interactions with my romantic interests.”
8. Pick up lines are a BIG NO.
No, just no. Cheesy pick up lines have been used, reused, overused and then used some more. Steer clear because they just make you come across as lazy and uncreative AF.
9. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT put anything sexual.
If you’re on dating apps to just objectify people and look for sexting opportunities/hookups, get off immediately. Adding an overly sexual bio or even something sexually adjacent signifies that you are shallow, a misogynist and above all a huge creep.
10. Keep it short and sweet.
Use the space to write a short excerpt about yourself – kind of like a preview of your life. Don’t be afraid to let your personality shine! Include your hobbies, add a quote from your favourite movie, what kind of people you best resonate with, how you’re crazy about momos (we all are), maybe a weird fact or two.
Okay fighters, you’re now ready. Go get some love!