There is one question that we all ponder over after a break-up, “Will we ever be able to go back to being friends again?” Because, while many of us do end up reaching a healthy place with some of our exes, others of us never really want anything to do with most of them.
Which is why these experiences shared by various Redditors about their thoughts on remaining friends with an ex while also being in a relationship are so interesting to read through.
From being friends with an ex-wife and going on vacations together with each other’s partners, to not wanting to speak to an ex ever again, here’s everything people have shared about the complicated topic. Take a look:
1. “I stayed friends with my ex, my husband met him, they hit it off and ex joined hub’s softball team.”
2. “My spouse has (knowingly) met several people I’ve slept with and it hasn’t been an issue. They know that the existence of my sexual history is not a threat to our relationship.”
3. “It does not work. There are two reasons… It ruins your future (intimate) relationships, and causes jealousy, and needless arguments. One of you is always pining after the other, and you don’t really want a friend, you just want to get back. It’s emotionally disastrous. It’s a dumb idea.”
4. “It was a young and dumb kind of relationship that we both realize was for fun. 4 years have gone by and she still calls me every night, and I’m glad to help her with her guy problems. She has no interest in me, I have no emotional interest in her, I’d definitely hit that if she ever wanted me to though.”
5. “She and I were talking about all our lingering feelings and she was pretty much emotionally cheating on her boyfriend and I was so excited about the idea of us getting back together that I didn’t care who I hurt or what I did. Two weeks later she left him and after she spent some time in Alaska doing her summer job, we got back together. For a week and a half. She then proceeded to leave me. Being friends with her is now permanently out the question from my stand point. Especially since she went back to the poor guy.”
6. “My ex is my best friend. We were together for 19 years, so we shared a lot and didn’t want to loose all that. We broke up 2 years ago, he moved a few blocks away, and we still see each other quite often. My new boyfriend is a great guy who understands that this relationship is not a menace to ours.”
7. “I’m with a different person now and things are fine, I’m very happy with my boyfriend and have remained good friends with my ex also. Things aren’t that weird if we all end up hanging out together either.”
8. “I’ve been really good friends with my ex-fiancée/daughter’s mother for a few years now. There were some hard feelings at first but we have remained civil and fairly good friends since we broke up. We’ve both have had relationships since then and felt no animosity. I have felt concern over what kind of guy she was dating for our daughter’s sake. We were friends before which I think helped but we realized that it wasn’t working between us after she got preggo.”
9. “My ex is my best friend, my fiancé knows and doesn’t care that we are friends but he also has no desire to get to know him which is perfectly fine with me.”
10. “There wasn’t really a reaction. My partner is friends with an ex or two as well and understands some people just work better as friends than partners.”
11. “The only ex I keep in touch is now married and I’m more friends with his wife than him. I hope when I get married we stay in each other lives as good friends.”
12. “Good friends with my ex and we hang out, do things together. Completely platonic, nothing there. Obviously when I’m with someone we don’t hang out but I’ll get an odd message every few weeks asking how I am etc. Partners don’t like this, see it as a threat and just don’t trust me cause of it and get jealous.”
13. “I just began a new relationship about 3 weeks ago. One of my exes is like my best friend so my partner found out pretty quickly that we used to date. I could tell by their facial reaction that they thought it was weird. After I explained that we were best friends before we dated, they seemed to accept it more. We all hang out and seem to do just fine.”
14. “My ex-wife and I are friends. It works if you still have mutual respect and care about each other.”
15. “My co-worker and his ex-wife are still friends. They have houses on the same street. Have gone on vacation together with their kids. Give each other relationship advice – who better to get advice from than someone who knows you can be an idiot sometimes? They watch each other’s animals when one goes out of town. They occasionally go out for drinks, I’m sure it’s a little intimidating for their current significant others, but being friends makes them better co-parents and to them, their kids are worth it.”
I guess you can stay friends with exes!