Break-ups are never easy, and what’s even worse is to suggest a friendship during a breakup. But some people forget the bad and move on to become friends with their ex.
So if you are considering staying friends with your ex, read on. Because the responses ahead may give you an idea about what it’s like. It’s a tough choice, but here’s how people have done it.
1. “Sure, but we had to get over each other first. After we broke up, we didn’t talk to each other for over a year, but were able to become friends afterward.”
2. “Yep. My ex drives me to work every day and we hang out and get along well all around. We dated for 3 years and lived together. It’s not hard. Two people who have a lot in common can be friends without being in a dating relationship. You know that you’re unable to date each other, it simply won’t work, so you can move past that and be friends.”
3. “It’s possible but tough. Both parties need a long time apart though, with clear daylight between yourselves and any residual feelings. If after a year or so you’re both over it, then there’s a good chance your compatibility will work as friends, too.”
4. “After a few years, I’ve become friends with most of mine. It always helps to wait till both you and she are in different relationships and are happy with the person that they are.”
5. “I am in a pretty okay relationship with my Ex. We had Breakfast last week and it went well. We were great friends beforehand and then we dated for 50 weeks. She broke up with me. Some tips: Get space first. Don’t rush things, refind yourself, get comfortable. Don’t do anything you don’t want (same to her).”
6. “Yes, but I think it was because our breakup was mutual. We decided to break up for reasons we both understood, and because there were no hard feelings, we stayed very good friends. I’ve come to realize this because when friends would break up I’d say, “Why can’t you be friends? We are!” But it was because the breakups were not mutual.”
7. “Friendship with an ex cannot be done without a cold-turkey break from contact for a good while (long enough to get over that person). I have a few exes that I have reunited with as great friends years after the breakup, and this was only possible because I never had to get bitter with them watching them date other men shortly after the breakups.”
8. “Depends on what “friendship” means to you. If it’s being nice and hanging out with mutual friends, then sure. If it’s talking about your problems/frustrations with each other, then I would say for 90% of the people it doesn’t work. It can be done, I’ve seen it, but this hasn’t been my experience.”
9. “The best advice I’ve ever heard is “There is nothing time will not erase.” I take this as I like to take it and believe that everything will be fine with time. Since your breakup was mutual, I do believe you and your ex will be friends.”
10. “I’m friends with pretty much all of my exes save one that ended poorly. I achieve this by being an adult. Namely, breaking up with people kindly (so they don’t hate me afterward) and facing my fears about seeing people who break up with me. No acting crazy, no stupid drama, means you get good friends that know you well. This has worked well without exception so far. Edited to say: It helps that most of the breakups have been due to relationship incompatibility, but not cheating or hatred or anything.”
11. “I’m friends with almost all of my exes, granted, we were usually friends before we dated too. It’s always kinda awkward at the start, but things improve. It makes it a lot easier if they aren’t part of your daily life for a while though.”
12. “It depends on the breakup. The more painful, the less likely you can be friends. I broke up w/my ex, not because I hated him or he cheated. He just did not reciprocate the level of support I gave him in things and found our discussions on the topic futile. We are good friends. Even my new BF thinks he is cool.”
Read: 17 Things You Should Ask Yourself Before Becoming Friends With An Ex.