Lying to a child can do more harm than good. Sometimes, parents lie to children in their bid to protect them because they’re ‘just kids.’ They mask lies as facts that aren’t actually true. And these distorted facts followed by the child’s misleading understanding can garner really unwanted consequences.
Redditors are talking about such obtuse facts adults tell children, which aren’t truthful at all and can truly hurt them.
1. “If a classmate teases you it means they have a crush on you.”
2. ‘Do [X] or [Y] or [Z] and you’ll be set for life.’ This creates a mentality of expecting the same result from the same action under any kind of circumstance. Then, when they reach adulthood, they’ll start freaking out about ‘why is it not working??’ Teach your child to accept and be cool with uncertainty instead of creating a false sense of security in them.”
3. “‘If someone is bullying you, just ignore them and they’ll stop cuz they only want attention.’ Fucking BS! Bullies delight in a silent target and will only intensify the cruelty.”
4. “If you go to college, you will get your dream job!”
5. “Boys shouldn’t cry. This one makes me angry.”
6. “Your classmates are only mean to you because they are jealous. I’m not saying that it’s NEVER true, but it is more than likely not. And by saying that, you are making your kid think they are better than others, which may be why no one likes them in the first place.”
7. “‘You have to eat your food because there are kids starving in Africa’ made me develop disordered eating at like 6.”
8. “Anxiety and/or depression ‘is an excuse to get attention’ or ‘is just you being overdramatic.’ I hear adults tell kids that way too often.”
9. “‘You have to give your Auntie/Uncle a hug.’ Most cases of child sexual abuse are caused by family members and close friends, if your child isn’t comfortable with being touched for any given reason, you should teach them that their boundaries must be respected.”
10. “Girls aren’t as good at math/science and so shouldn’t bother. Boys aren’t as good at cooking or cleaning and so shouldn’t bother.”
11. “‘You’re not actually sad, it’s just your hormones.’ ‘You don’t have real problems.’ ‘Kids can’t have bad days.'”
12. “You can be whatever you want to be when you are an adult if you try hard enough.”
13. “Oh well ‘boys will be boys’ just ignore it…”
Right-Papaya7743
14. “‘God will hate you if you are not straight, don’t stay a virgin, write with your left hand, or ever masturbate, etc.’ Be an actual parent.”
15. “You’re not a real woman if you don’t wear make-up.”
16. “I was extremely lonely most of my life and my mom would always say ‘Oh just wait till you get to [insert next level of school], you’ll have TONS of friends then!’ It set me up to believe friends would just ‘fall into my lap’ with zero work on my part AND made me resentful when it obviously didn’t happen.”
17. “Telling them insert name of family member is just sleeping, or he/she just went to heaven when someone died and then not giving further explanations or avoiding their questions all together. Also, not letting children see their dead relative to say goodbye ‘because it’s scary and they’re too young.’ Children only get scared because adults treat it as such. They try to protect their kids and end up traumatizing them instead.”
Children have impressionable minds. Lies from parents can manifest false understanding, irrational fears, and a sense of an unrealistic approach to life within them. Parents must not pass on their irrational fears to their children.