I’m a woman, not a girl, a woman, who has been called feisty and shrill for having an opinion. I’ve had men tell me that they ‘allowed’ me to do something (thank you guys, forever grateful). Walking down the street at night, or just wanting to go on a solo trip feels like a luxury. And then there are many men, a lot of them around me, in my life who get to lecture people, specifically women, and whine without being called ‘difficult’. They’re automatically considered smarter, stronger, more hardworking, and more deserving than the rest of the women in the room. They don’t ask, they tell. And well, that’s the dream.
If, even for a day I could do everything that men can, without it being treated as a favor or an obligation, I’d want to end up in a time loop. I mean, I get it – why would you not want to take double the salary, while doing half the work? Or those constant promotions and incentives, knowing that you do not deserve most of it. Even just getting the free pass to talk over women who make sense, ah, that must feel amazing.
I’m really not complaining, I’m actually sympathizing with what most cis-het males have to go through. They have something so good, and there are different sets of people who want to take that away. Life is like a buffet for them – they can just take things. Who wouldn’t want to? A lot of them have what all of us crave.
Speaking of buffets, when they complain about the food being cold, or not well cooked, isn’t that normal? No one likes to eat average food, right? Sure, they’re quite literally getting free meals, without having to even clean up afterward, but there’s no point in all the effort that their mothers and wives put in if it’s not ‘perfect’. Plus, no one likes to share the load when they can just put it all on one person.
Now, when it comes to the customs of marriage – why would anyone say ‘no’ to freebies like a car, an AC, or even a house, from a random family? After all, you’re doing the ‘favour’ of getting married to their daughters. They uproot and give up on the lives that they were used to living, and you ‘keep’ them, even ‘give’ them a new name. So what if you eat first, while they wait?
I’ve spent a lot of time being pissed at men for not acknowledging their privileges or not giving up the entitlement that exists for no reason. But, how can we blame someone for being treated ‘better’ than others? They are treated better because they made the effort to exist. This idea of feeling superior over others, about something (your sex) that you had no role to play in, sounds so light. Just the idea of being a man puts the mind at rest. It’s a winning lottery ticket that we’re asking them to throw away.
Think of how easy it gets to have access to the generational wealth that is quite literally the sum of people’s hard work, in which you had no role to play. But then, you’re the one who’ll take the ‘family name’ forward, so it’s okay if you take it all. Even passing on your ‘family name’ is not a lot of effort for you, all you have to do is, be a man.
On-screen, men get to romance women half their age, and of course, it bothers us because we’re “jealous”. They’re heroes who save ‘damsels in distress’ from other men, why would anyone want to give up on an image that celebrates and glorifies them?
They don’t have to hide their microaggression on a daily basis, or worry about being called ‘over dramatic’, they can just shout and vent. In fact, it’s better for them if they do all of it because it’s just more ‘manly’. Hell, who cares about feminism, I wanna be a man, a powerful male with loads of privileges. Yes, most men have it easier, of course, a lot of them take women for granted. Sure, they’re born with entitlement that usually evolves into misbehavior. But imagine having all of it, and you’d get why they don’t want others to have what they have.