Ever heard of ‘change’? Yeah, that creepy, annoying, unasked-for concept that wickedly enters your life and turns it around, sometimes, upside down, without ever letting you have the slightest of inclinations. From what I’ve heard, it’s the only constant in our world.
Times change. Things change. And so do people. Like it or not, it’s going to happen.
Do you know what’s the worst part about change? It changes you as a person. Suddenly, you no longer like the same things. It’s like waking up to a whole new person, out of the blue, one morning. Except that this change happens over a period of time, without you realising the small-but-consequential steps till suddenly, you’ve transformed into someone else.
Unfortunately, this change isn’t limited to things alone. Look closely and you’ll realise how the change is more intricate when it comes to people around you.
Have you ever outgrown certain people? Say, friends from school and college? With time, schedules and careers rapidly consuming your life, not to forget all the other new people entering your mind space, sometimes, it’s tough to retain those cherished bonds from our younger days.
I’m no longer as close to my friends from school and college. I’ve made new friends and because they happen to be more aware of my everyday life, I’m closer to them.
There’s one thing to have a physical distance and another to have an emotional one.
Sometimes, life sets you apart from people geographically. It could be a tempting job opportunity, wedding or just the urge to experience a new city. In such scenarios, sometimes, you do end up losing touch with friends. Or sometimes, the bond only gets stronger and absence only makes the hearts grow fonder.
However, there are other times when living in the same city, you end up feeling distant from some people. It’s not because something has happened. It’s actually because nothing has happened!
Emotions are tricky. When you least except it, they trickle in from somewhere. And when you’re not looking, they venture out.
A friend who was your closest ally, yesterday, may not be so close, today. Not because you couldn’t see eye-to-eye with each other. Just that you found someone else with better eye contact!
As we grow older, our close circle of friends keeps changing.
When you’re spending maximum time slogging at work, it’s only natural to forge friendships. And because schedules aren’t at conflict with colleagues, you end up hanging out with them more often. Soon, before you know it, you’re opening up to them about life and its myriad issues. Not because a fabulous friendship has developed but because it’s a matter of convenience.
When a person who you spend maximum time with in a day is sitting right next to you, why would you bother calling up someone sitting in a far off land, right?
As we graduate from school to college and college to work, our friend circle expands. And merely because of convenience and physical distance, our friends right now become our friends that matter.
Am I sounding too heartless and selfish? Maybe I am. But if you think about it, so are you!
Yes, school and college friends play a highly-relevant part in our lives.
They are the ones we’ve grown up with. The ones who’ve been at our side when we were trying to wander through life. They’ve seen us fall, helped us stand up and encouraged us to follow our paths. Naturally, they know us damn well. In and out. No holds barred!
However, we meet them at a certain age. The age of innocence and the age of ultimate optimism. We’re looking at life with rose-tinted glasses, all our hopes, expectations and dreams in our minds. And sadly for us, those glasses come off the moment we step into the real world.
When not confined to educational institutions where life is just a canteen conversation away, life is rather difficult. It constantly pushes us and constantly moulds us in different ways. Frankly, we’re not the same people anymore. Not when we’re balancing work with our personal lives, not when we’re trying to make it big in our chosen careers and not when we’re dealing with the responsibilities of marriage and what follows after!
At every new stage in life, you need a friend who can both symphatise and emphatise. Someone who’s well-aware of your circumstances and is, in fact, going through the same.
Your best friend from school won’t get your pressures at work. Your friend from college won’t know of the troubles you’re facing in your marriage. Yes, they’d ‘know’ about it but will they actually know?
You will pick up from where you left last but more often than not, this ‘picking up’ involves reminiscing about the days gone by rather than dwelling on the present.
We’ve all spent countless hours on phone with our old friends. We’ve had reunions and we’ve all fondly remembered the time that was.
But how many of us have actually opened up ourselves to those friends, all over again? I know I haven’t. Not because those friends won’t get it but because I have other friends who’re already getting it. Friendship is like a closet full of clothes. Yes, you have that one outfit from years ago that you still cherish but you will still go out shopping, right?
I love my friends from school and college. They’re still close to me. Just not as close as the ones I’m hanging out with every weekend. Is that too bad?