As the clock ticks and we gear up to bid farewell to yet another chaotic year, it’s time to embrace our beloved tradition of setting New Year’s resolutions we have no intention of keeping. Every year, at least I have very enthusiastically listed down all the habits that I needed to change.
With my determination and willpower, I took a new journal which probably will never see the light of day after a week, a calendar that I never abided by, and a mood board that obviously got ignored like my texts by my crush. Every year I aspire to be the best version of myself – join a gym, take a dance class, read 10+ books, eat healthy, and whatnot. Trust me, these are good New Year resolutions but let’s be honest – Rome was not built in a day. They are realistically not possible to achieve and are overwhelming. Soon, these well-meaning promises turn into running jokes by February (if not sooner).
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So, instead of vowing to conquer the world with discipline and willpower this year, I thought – why not lean into the chaos and set resolutions that are equal parts amusing, realistic, and easily doable? Small habits will set the change and I believe, most of you will find this relatable. So, I came up with a few bitter but helpful resolutions that can change you a little bit as a person, if not whole. From backing up data to uninstalling food delivery apps, here’s a roundup of laugh-out-loud resolutions that might just make 2024 a little more fun—and a lot less guilt-ridden.
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1. Double check your email to see if you have attached the attachment
Yeah, we all are on the same page with this one.
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2. Stop Googling symptoms
A little headache isn’t always a tumor but that anxiety can cause you worse problems.
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3. Try reading the Terms and Conditions
Or at least scan them so that you don’t sign something that says you allow people to sell your kidney
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4. Learn how to say NO without giving full explanations
A little pause. Smile. ‘No, Thank you.’ There. Problem solved.
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5. Drink water more often than you water your plants
In case no one told you, plants are important and so are you (for them)!
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6. Stop arguing with strangers on the Internet
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7. Try closing your 120 tabs instead of just opening new ones
Let your computer breathe this year. Even if you can’t (Sorry Delhites)
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8. Underconsumption is not cute, but surely cheap and environment-friendly
You don’t need five types of cleaner liquids because they are promoted as cute by an influencer.
9. Don’t use the same password for all accounts. Try tweaking them a bit for added security
Extra Tip: Change it regularly and thank us later.
We know it is difficult. Also, Password@your year of birth is too easy to guess. Step up your game, this year.
10. Try taking more stairs – little steps go a long way
Truman took the stairs and got out. You can take the stairs and get a little fit.
11. It’s okay to say I don’t know
What is important is that you try to learn about the things you don’t know about.
12. Commit to watching recommendations from friends
Especially if you have asked them.
13. Read the books you bought last year before buying any new ones this year
Yes. We are talking about you.
14. Put your phone down a little more when you are with your friends and family and have dinner
15. Don’t be hard on yourself
The world will be kinder when you are kinder to yourself.
While we may not achieve every resolution on this list ( if we’re being honest), the real win is starting the year with a sense of humor and the willingness to embrace our wonderfully imperfect selves. So, go ahead—laugh at your missteps, celebrate small victories, and let these funny resolutions remind you that life’s quirks are worth cherishing.
Here’s to a year filled with laughter, manageable goals, and maybe, a clear inbox and hydrated you. Happy New Year! 🎉
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