Laughter is often called the best medicine, and that includes when it comes to sex! Whether you’re looking to break the ice, lighten the mood, or just enjoy a good chuckle, nonveg joke can deliver that perfect blend of naughty and hilarious. From silly innuendos to outright dirty humor, a well-timed joke can make things a lot more fun.
In this article, we’ve compiled a list of 120+ of the best jokes about sex. From the funniest sex jokes that will make you laugh out loud to some truly dirty ones that are not for the faint of heart, there’s something for everyone. Whether you need a joke for your partner, or you’re just looking to add a bit of sex humor to your day, we’ve got you covered.
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Sex Jokes
Sex Jokes are lighthearted, funny, and sometimes a little cheeky, often meant to break the ice or bring humor to intimate topics. They add a playful twist to conversations about relationships and sex, making things feel more relaxed and less serious. Just be mindful of the setting and audience when sharing these jokes!
- Why don’t we ever tell secrets in bed?
Because they always come out! - What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a condom?
Condoms have evolved: they’re not thick and insensitive anymore. - Why did the banana go out with the prune?
Because it couldn’t find a date. - Why is it tough to have a threesome with a comedian?
They always pull out the punchline too soon. - What do you call a guy who cries after sex?
A romantic… or a cab driver. - What did one boob say to the other?
“If we don’t get support soon, people will think we’re nuts.” - Why did the couple go to the gym?
To work on their relationship’s flexibility! - Why don’t vegans moan during sex?
They don’t want anyone to know they’re enjoying the meat. - What’s the best thing about sex with vampires?
They’ll suck anything. - Why don’t golfers make great lovers? Because they always want a hole in one!
- What’s long, hard, and has to be done to please your partner? Foreplay.
- Why did the baker break up with his girlfriend? Because she was too kneady!
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Funniest Jokes About Sex
Funniest Jokes About Sex bring humor to one of the most natural parts of life. These jokes are designed to be witty, playful, and lighthearted, making people laugh while taking the edge off awkward conversations. They show how humor can add fun to even the most intimate topics! Just be sure to keep it respectful and appropriate for the moment.
- What’s a 6.9?
A great thing ruined by a period. - Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying. - How is life like toilet paper?
Either you’re on a roll or you’re taking crap from someone. - What did the elephant say to the naked man?
“How do you breathe through that thing?” - Why did the guitar player break up with his girlfriend?
He couldn’t find her G-string! - What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
“I want you inside me.” - How do you know your girlfriend’s frigid?
When you open her legs and a light comes on. - What’s the most popular game at a nudist camp?
Hide and go peek. - What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear, the other’s a great year. - What’s the difference between your job and your wife?
After five years, your job still sucks. - Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. - What do you get when you cross Viagra with a lawnmower?
A yard full of hoes.
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Hilarious Sex Jokes
Hilarious Sex Jokes are the kind that make you laugh out loud and lighten the mood around intimate topics. These jokes take a cheeky, playful approach to sex, blending humor with a touch of daring. They’re perfect for breaking the ice or sharing a good laugh with friends in the right setting!
- Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish. - Why do married people live longer?
Because they can’t argue when they’re dead! - What’s the best part of gardening?
Getting down and dirty with your hoes. - Why don’t squirrels make good lovers?
They always bust a nut too quickly. - How do you make a pool table laugh?
Tickle its balls. - What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get. - Why did the blind man fall into the well?
He couldn’t see that well. - Why did the cucumber blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing! - Why do men like to fall asleep after sex?
Because the warranty expires after the climax. - Why is being in a committed relationship like going to a gym?
If you stop working out, you lose your gains. - What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball. - Why can’t you tell a dirty joke at a nudist colony?
Because everyone will see right through it!
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Silly Sex Jokes
Silly Sex Jokes are lighthearted and playful, offering a fun way to approach intimate topics without taking things too seriously. They use humor and whimsy to make conversations about sex more enjoyable and less awkward. Perfect for adding a touch of laughter to any discussion!
- What did the egg say to the boiling water?
“It’s going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid.” - Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing! - What does a penis and a joke have in common?
Timing is everything. - Why do couples like to do it on the floor?
It’s easier to sweep the problems under the rug. - Why don’t people play hide and seek at the nudist colony?
Good luck hiding. - What’s the hardest part about dating a cannibal?
Getting to the second date with all your limbs intact. - Why do women love men in uniform?
Because they know how to follow orders. - What do you get if you cross a vibrator with an alien?
A visitor from the pleasure planet. - Why can’t you make jokes about people who wear glasses?
They don’t see the humor. - What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float. - Why don’t bachelors make the best cooks?
Because they can’t bring anything to a boil! - What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom?
One snatches your watch, the other watches your snatch.
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Dirty Jokes About Sex
Dirty Jokes About Sex dive into more risqué and adult-themed humor, aiming to provoke laughter through edgy and explicit content. These jokes can be a bold way to address intimate topics, but they’re best shared in settings where everyone is comfortable with the level of suggestiveness. Always keep your audience and context in mind to ensure the humor is well-received!
- Why don’t vegetarians moan during sex?
They don’t want anyone to think they’re enjoying a meat lover’s feast. - What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold onto your nuts, this is going to be one blow job you won’t forget! - Why don’t women trust men with good posture?
Because they always seem upright but rarely stand up for anything. - How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy. - What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber. - Why don’t skeletons make love?
They don’t have the guts. - Why is Santa so jolly?
He knows where all the naughty girls live. - What’s long, hard, and full of seamen?
A submarine. - What’s the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on. - Why are women like hurricanes?
At first, they’re wet and wild, but when they leave, they take your house and car. - What’s a man’s idea of foreplay?
Half an hour of begging. - What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne doesn’t come on a boy’s face until he’s at least 13.
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Filthy Sex Jokes
Filthy Sex Jokes push the boundaries with explicit and often provocative humor. They aim to shock or amuse by tackling intimate subjects in a no-holds-barred manner. While they can be entertaining in the right context, it’s important to be mindful of your audience and setting to ensure the jokes are appropriate and well-received.
- What’s the speed limit of sex?
68. Because at 69, you have to turn around! - Why does a penis resemble a marching band?
Because it gets louder the closer it gets to the grand finale. - Why don’t witches wear panties?
So they can get a better grip on their broomsticks! - Why don’t prostitutes make great housekeepers?
Because they don’t clean the room, they just move the mess around. - What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb. - What did the penis say to the condom?
“Cover me, I’m going in!” - What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile. - Why are sex ed classes like history lessons?
You spend more time studying past mistakes. - Why did the sperm go to school?
To improve its chances. - How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give them a used tampon and ask them which period it’s from. - What’s the difference between a joke and two dicks?
You can’t take a joke. - What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
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Sex Pun
Sex Puns cleverly twist words related to intimacy into humorous plays on language. These jokes use wit and double meanings to add a playful spin to discussions about sex. They’re a fun way to lighten the mood and add some cheeky humor without crossing any lines.
- What’s the difference between a pick-up line and a pick-up truck?
One’s for moving furniture, the other’s for moving bodies. - Why did the bed break?
Too much pillow talk. - What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?
A sunken chest and no booty. - What did the French chef say to the woman?
“You make me quiche my breath.” - What did one wall say to the other wall?
“Meet you at the corner for some studs.” - Why don’t chickens like to have sex?
Because their eggs might scramble. - What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain of pussy. - What did the bra say to the hat?
“You go on ahead, I’ll give these two a lift.” - Why don’t vampires go on Tinder?
They’re afraid of too many stakings. - What do you get when you mix a rooster and a giraffe?
A long-necked cock. - What do you call a male bunny who gets around?
A playboy. - Why do birds have great sex lives?
Because they always use a feather bed.
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Adult Jokes About Sex
Adult Jokes About Sex are designed for a mature audience, featuring humor that explores intimate topics with a more explicit or sophisticated edge. They offer a way to address sex-related themes in a candid and often provocative manner, ideal for adult gatherings where everyone is comfortable with more direct humor.
- Why don’t people trust stairs?
They’re always leading you down. - Why did the man bring a ladder to bed?
To reach new heights of pleasure. - What’s the difference between a boy and a girl when they hear “sex”?
The boy can’t wait, and the girl can’t relate. - Why don’t robots have good relationships?
They just can’t connect. - What’s better than a good joke?
A long-lasting one. - What’s the difference between a park bench and a wife?
A park bench can support two bodies. - Why did the man take Viagra and glue?
He wanted something to keep it up. - What’s a porn star’s favorite exercise?
A squat thrust. - Why don’t photographers make great lovers?
They’re always focusing on someone else. - What’s the worst time to break up?
During a Netflix and chill moment. - What did the sex therapist say to the lightbulb?
“It’s not the size, it’s the brightness.” - What’s a pirate’s favorite type of partner?
Someone who knows how to plunder the booty.
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Sex Jokes for Wife
Sex Jokes for Wife are playful and affectionate quips aimed at adding a touch of humor to your relationship. These jokes are designed to be light-hearted and endearing, perfect for bringing some fun and intimacy into your marriage. They can help keep the romance alive with a good laugh and a shared sense of humor.
- Why did the husband bring a map to the bedroom?
He kept losing himself in her eyes. - What’s the best part of married life?
Knowing that foreplay is now folding laundry together. - Why did the husband put his wife on a pedestal?
He thought that’s where she kept the remote. - What’s a wife’s favorite thing to do in bed?
Tell her husband to roll over and stop snoring. - What did the wife say to her husband after a long day?
“You better put in more effort tonight than you did with the dishes!” - Why did the wife insist on romantic music?
To drown out his snoring. - What’s a husband’s favorite position?
Any that doesn’t involve him getting up afterward. - What’s the difference between a man and a dog?
A dog eventually stops whining. - Why don’t married men argue with their wives in bed?
They already know they’ve lost. - What’s the best way to make love to your wife?
Tell her you’re doing the laundry after. - Why does marriage make men gain weight?
Because it’s the one meal they can’t skip. - What’s a wife’s favorite role play?
Pretending her husband is helping out.
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Dark Sex Jokes
Dark Sex Jokes delve into more taboo and edgy themes, using humor to explore the more unconventional aspects of intimacy. These jokes can be provocative and are best suited for audiences who appreciate a darker sense of humor. It’s important to approach these with caution, ensuring they are appropriate for the setting and audience to avoid discomfort or offense.
- What do a necrophiliac and a vampire have in common?
They both like their lovers cold. - Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
Because he had nobody to go with. - What’s the difference between sex and a shovel?
One’s a great way to pass time; the other’s a good way to bury it. - What’s worse than waking up next to a stranger?
Waking up next to a dead stranger. - What did the sadist say to the masochist?
“No.” - What do a zombie and a sex addict have in common?
They’re both after brains, just in different ways. - Why did the butcher bring a knife to bed?
He wanted to make some deep cuts. - What’s a serial killer’s favorite position?
The last one. - What’s worse than catching your partner cheating?
Finding out they’re better at it than you. - What did the Grim Reaper say to his date?
“I’ll take your breath away.” - Why do people say sex is like a black hole?
Once you’re in, there’s no escape. - What did the mortician say after his date?
“I’ve handled stiffer bodies.”
Whether you’re after a cheeky giggle or a jaw-dropping groan, these jokes for sex have something for every sense of humor.
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