Wearing ‘Goggles’ Indoors Doesn’t Make You Look Cool, It Makes You Look Like A Ch**iya

Supriyo Mukherjee

The contemporary Indian society has some very stringent rules for what can be deemed as ‘cool’ or not. While fashion trends seem to change at the drop of a hat or with every new selfie that a celebrity posts on Instagram, one thing remains constant – sunglasses. That is the quintessential ingredient in making one look cool.

Looking cool in Delhi is very easy. You need a every-South-Delhi-guy haircut which can also be referred to as a Pidgeotto haircut. 

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And this new obsession with wearing cardigans? Why?

Cool dudes also tend to wear what some like to refer to as choodidaar jeans. You know, the ones that are loose near the crotch area and really tight at calves? Yes. Those ones.

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But if there’s one thing that has stayed constant throughout the 90s, the 2000s and the current decade; it has to be the fact that most of these guys prefer wearing shades indoors. 

Why, you might think? Well, nobody knows. Sunglasses are proven to make a person look cooler. On the other hand, wearing sunglasses at night is a blatant tell that you’re TRYING to look cool, which is, in itself, uncool thing to do. People who TRY and look cool blatantly are uncool.

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Therefore wearing sunglasses at night does NOT make you look cooler. Therefore, my opinion is that, despite the fact that while sunglasses, like smoking, normally make you look approximately 33% cooler, you can’t really get away with it at night without looking like a douchebag. Am I making up stats? Yes. But isn’t fashion made up by a select few celebrities in the first place?

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Non-rock stars hope that by shutting off the windows to the soul they will assume an aura of mystery, or tap into popular culture’s veneration of all that is hidden and the underground. But that’s rarely the case. You don’t appear cool or classy, but you turn into a douchebag (a term that can be translated into North Indian for ‘chutiya’). 

People that wear sunglasses at night remind me of people that type LyK dIS.

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Also, people may genuinely think you have a contagious eye infection like conjunctivitis which is why you are wearing your sunglasses indoor or at night. And every time you go near them, they may recoil in horror. Going purely by numbers, if everyone wearing shades indoors in Hauz Khas were to have an eye infection, Arvind Kejriwal will have to declare conjunctivitis as an epidemic and we would have an emergency situation about the same.

Most of the kids don’t realize that celebrities do it because there are cameras in their face, even when they’re inside. But the average Joe doesn’t have an excuse. It doesn’t make you look like Badshah. And what kind of a world are we living in if you want to be like him in the first place? This is hilarious and sad at the same time.

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Now a lot of guys will try and overcompensate by telling me how it’s about personal liberty and all that. To be honest, I agree with them. Please go forward and do whatever you feel like. Just like me commentating on how stupid some guys look when they wear shades indoors.

Note: The opinions expressed in this article are that of the author and not of ScoopWhoop.

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