I think of myself as something of a connoisseur of procrastination, creative and dogged in my approach to not getting things done.
– Susan Orlean
Procrastination.
We wallow around in it aimlessly and revel in its comfort. One more day of lying on the couch watching Game of Thrones reruns instead of studying for that exam which looms overhead, gives us so much guilty pleasure. Another day of staying hidden under layers of blankets savouring the precious time meant for a project and doing absolutely nothing and then facing the mounting horror the next day.
We vow to be diligent and mature enough to start work on time so as to avoid getting hysterical when it really comes down to it. But somehow it never works out for us procrastinators. Take a look at these stages of procrastination and chuckle along if this is you!
Stage 1
That grave moment when we realise we have to work, feel troubled about it for a minute and then dismiss it immediately to avoid darkening our bright day.
Stage 2
“You’re young and you deserve to have fun”, this is what we tell ourselves and take it easy for a while cause YOLO.
Stage 3
This is the stage where we are still living our carefree life, because “Abhi bohot time baaki hai.” Ominous warnings from parents fall on deaf ears.
Stage 4
This is when we sort of start feeling guilty for being such sloths and start justifying things by means of excuses. After all, Sharma uncle’s pav-bhaji party had to be attended.
Stage 5
All attempts to make some progress fail. The brain and heart refuse to cooperate and leave you, stuck in a rut. So you resort to concentrating and keep reading the same sentence over and over again…
Stage 6
That’s it. Time to do things right. How can you possibly cram in anything, with everything so disorganised? A new order of discipline must be brought about. Armed with a jharu and duster, you spend five hours cleaning the mess of 7 months.
Stage 7
You need to keep the flagging hope up and flying high. You can still pull this off, you just need to compromise on sleep a bit and mentally divide the amount you need to study and allocate it to early mornings and late nights.
Stage 8
The dark moment when actual realisation dawns on you that you need to start studying in real earnest.
Stage 9
But as we (very seriously) attempt to study, the internet draws you into its trap. Click-baits abound, we get hungry the minute we sit down, suddenly we feel thirsty or have to pee really bad. You know how it goes.
Stage 10
Halfway through ‘These 7 Things Will Definitely Help You Find Your True Love’, realisation hits that you have accomplished zero. Hot panic floods you; this is where shit hits the fan and you get a little maniacal.
Stage 11
Exhausted from all the drama that is your life, you contemplate the meaning of existence. Surely, life can’t be about exams. You need to get far away from all the superficiality of the world and ponder about climbing the Himalayas and taking a vow of celibacy.
Stage 12
This is when we finally get things done. Fear is a powerful motivator and you curse yourself and everything else and promise yourself to never get into such a last minute dash again. But promises are meant to be broken.
I was going to write a sign-off but I got busy.
Awesomesauce designs by Aroop Mishra.