There is no such thing as a healthy family dynamic, in my opinion. Most families are dysfunctional and the only bonding we have is of generational damage. In fact, constant disagreements or just plain annoyance is normal behavior. If anything, that’s a ‘sign of love’. No? I came across a tweet today which talked about ‘psychological damage’ in families – and how it comes across as cordial behaviour.
Of course, I cannot help but think that happy familial setups are just creepy, and somewhat eerie. I wouldn’t go as far as to relate them with horror films… but you get the point?
So, here are all the signs to spot a family that is, well, deeply toxic, but pretends otherwise.
1. When they have portraits in matching attires.
The first point is the tweet that inspired me to look for more signs. I don’t know how people see it, but I find formal family portraits very creepy. On top of that, if everyone stands there in matching outfits, something is just plain wrong.
2. When they cook together.
Please. Two people are incapable of cooking together, it just doesn’t happen, unless you are always in sync. Let’s just face it, families are never in sync. Normal families don’t even enter the kitchen at same time, because we prefer peace over bonding.
3. When they pass on a business empire.
Okay, hear me out on this one. Countless shows and films are proof that there’s always drama to these business empires. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love a hefty generational wealth. Only, it comes with a lot of baggage – of course, money makes it all worth it.
4. When they turn a kid’s room into a storage space.
Fine you moved out. Fine it was an empty room and the parents needed space. But isn’t it all very convenient, huh? A normal family converts your room into a storage when you’re living there. They stop caring when you’re around, not when you leave.
5. When they say sweet things about each other in front of other people.
Let’s just face it, no one has anything nice to say about the other person when they live under the same roof… every day. So the normal reaction is to crib about the family members, or vent each time you see someone from the outside world. It’s a relief to get to talk to people you’re not surrounded by constantly.
6. When cousins are best friends.
Again, too much love is always suspicious. Besides, cousins are not your friends, they cannot be. If at all they pretend, that’s just to gather data to build a case against you to look better in front of the family. Trust me, it all makes sense.
7. When they throw grand parties.
Grand parties are just a means to show people that you’re a very happy family. There is no other logical reason to call all those people, and spend all that money. Don’t tell me that it’s all real and just a nice gesture. A nice gesture is ordering a cake for someone else, because you just want a good reason to eat cake.
8. When they use words like Parampara and Pratishtha.
Imagine being lectured about rules and rituals on a day-to-day basis. Of course we all get a lecture, every now and then, but it’s something else if a family member takes it too seriously. I don’t know how to explain this but there’s just a sense of fear in big words, and parampara is one of them.
Or maybe I just don’t know how normal families function. I mean, I wouldn’t know…