I personally believe that everybody should be like Monday; doesn’t give a fuck whether you like it or not, it comes back week after week. Just like it’s back again today. Sometimes I wonder, that it’s so annoying as a weekday, how annoying must it have been had it been a living person? More important, what kind of a person would Monday have been?
So we thought about it a little and came to some conclusions. Like these ones right here. Check ’em out.
1. If Monday were a person, it would be Sharma ji ka beta.
“Ek tu hai! Aur ek woh Sharma ji ka beta! Kuch seekh, nalayak!”
2. If Monday were a person, it’d be that kid who reminded the teacher that she had to take a test that day.
“Okay class, please turn to page – – – – “
“Excuse me ma’am! What about the class test?”
3. If Monday were a person, it’d be that nosy neighbourhood aunty who is more worried about your marriage than you.
“Aur beta, ab toh naukri bhi lag gayi. Settle hone ka kya socha hai?”
4. If Monday were a person, it’d be that gol-gappe waala who refuses to give you sookhi papdi.
5. If Monday were a person, it’d be that bai who switches off the fan in the morning and then doesn’t switch it on again.
6. If Monday were a person, it’d be that shopkeeper who always says “Beta chutte nahin hain. Toffee de doon?”
“Chutte toh nahin hain. 5/- ka kuch de doon?”
7. If Monday were a person, it’d be that guy who says “Non-veg nahin khaata, par anda kha leta hoon.”
“I’m an eggetarian.”
8. If Monday were a person, it’d be that cab driver who says “Madam, navigation kaam nahin kar raha hai.”
9. If Monday were a person, it’d be that barber who keeps pestering you to get a hair treatment asap.
“Arrey badi dandruff ho rakhi hai. Aap hair treatment kara lo.”
“Nahin.”
“Okay. But badi dandruff ho rakhi hai. Hair treatment kara lo.”
“Nahin.”
“Chalo theek hai. But dandruff bahut ho rakhi hai. Lagta hai ab hair treatment se hi…”
10. If Monday were a person, it’d either be KRK or Dolly Bindra.
11. If Monday were a person, it’d be that kid who says “Mera toh paper mein 30 marks ka choot gaya!” but still scores 90%.
“Bhai, main toh gaya iss paper mein!”
*Ends up topping the class*
12. If Monday were a person, it’d be that guy who knows he won’t get off at Rajiv Chowk metro station but still blocks the door.
“Bhaiyya, utarna hai?”
“Nahin.”
13. If Monday were a person, it’d be that guy who sits on the ladies seat and then pretends to sleep when a lady comes.
14. If Monday were a person, it’d be that sabziwaala who charges you for mirchi and dhaniya.
15. If Monday were a person, it’d be that autowallah who refuses to go by the meter.
“Meter subah se kaam nahin kar raha madam. Warna chal leta.”
Thank God Monday’s just a weekday.