We might be as good at the Olympics as the USA or China but that’s mostly because the sports we are really good at aren’t in the event. And I think, that’s unfair. There’s a ton of things we are totally awesome at.
1. Crying profusely on camera for shits and giggles.
2. Awkward photoshops!
3. Men just whipping it out and pissing in public.
4. Bargaining for Dhaniya and mirchi with street vendors after shopping worth thousands of rupees at malls.
5. Idiolising Bollywood celebrities to the point of obsession.
6. Making over the top TV shows.
7. Living life dangerously because kaun hi rokega humein?
8. Being masters of jugaad.
9. Telling people what to eat.
10. Defying science
11. Sliding into DMs.
12. Clicking pictures with random white people.
13. Making movies with fair actors using brown faces to portray working-class people.
14. Mom’s circumventing all pleadings and prayers to switch off the fan at exactly the same time every day forcing you to wake up.
15. Parents choosing their children’s careers.
16. Fighting over Biryani.
Don’t roll your eyes. As a Biryani vet, it’s an honour to serve in these conflict areas.
17. Taking offence at everything on Earth.
I mean, Quora pe puch rahe hain log!
18. Making the best street food there is.
19. Indian Matchmaking
20. Justifying misogyny, no matter where it comes from.
For example, remember the time we all collectively decided to troll Miranda Kerr with misogynistic tweets because she was dating Snapchat’s CEO.
And of course, this:
That is 20 medals right there!