Whenever I am out, having fun on a trip or at lunch with people at work, I have to mentally prepare myself for certain things:
1. The awkward small talk
2. Splitting the bill
3. And, “Oye, tu vegetarian hai?“
There’s not a single outing where this doesn’t get mentioned, and end up with me just staring at them thinking, “Bhai tu 5 saal se jaanta hai mujhe aur 50 hazaar baar puch chuka hai same cheez.“
You’d think this would eventually stop one day, but it hasn’t. And of course, after this question, comes the follow up, “Koi nahi, paneer mangwa le?”
Your relatives might stop asking you to get married after a point of time but people won’t stop saying this until you take up Bear Grylls’ food habits.
I mean, while you guys spend an hour discussing what kind of chicken you want to order, you won’t even consider giving me five minutes to decide what I should have other than paneer? How would you like it if I ordered butter chicken for you on every occasion, without even having a detailed debate about it? I can eat curry, aalo, mutter mushroom or even bhindi for fuck’s sake!
And about ordering paneer, don’t think that I don’t know about your hidden intentions. I don’t even get half a piece of a single paneer when your non-vegetarians consider my main course as your appetiser. It’s not something I ordered for you to have on the side. Stick to that chicken lollipop of yours instead, yeah?
Yes, there was a time when I used to like paneer, but after years of being overfed with the dish by my non vegetarian friends, I hate the mere sight of it.
No, not just friends, while growing up whenever my parents were invited to someone’s home for dinner, they would serve me paneer with such pity looks.
I could almost hear them saying, “Oho, chalo chicken nahi paneer toh kha hi sakta hai bechara.”
And it kept happening to the point where I hate paneer as much as our parents hate our smartphones.
So, if you are non vegetarian reading this article, please stop trying to stuff paneer to your vegetarian friends just because you think it’s the closest alternative to meat.