When I had lost all hopes and had begun to say “seh lenge” instead of “yeh dukh kaahe khatam nahi hota“, Delhi University decided to give me a last ray of hope: offline classes resumed.
The last chance for me to experience college life. The last four months when I can go on protests and say “Main LSR, DU se hoon“, proudly grinning from ear to ear. The final try at the Karan Johar-esque #uni life.
And when the other states went ahead and opened campuses, DU still stuck to its stand. Talk about being Ashneer, am I right?
But all’s well that end’s well and my prayers were answered. Delhi University finally decide to resume offline classes from 17th February. And I am over the moon.
Here’s a list of all that I am looking forward to, while the bags I have to pack stare blankly at me.
1. Making the dreaded search for a PG/flat.
When I was praying to God about the DU reopening, I just had this otherworldly idea in mind that itna enjoy karungi log dekhte reh jaayenge. Did I think about the hard ground reality? No. Did I realize that going to offline classes means that I need some actual place to live and not my cute imagination? No. Am I struggling with my anxiety issues thinking that I will have to place my boriya-bistar in a corner of the college itself? Yes.
2. Facing the sad reality: no more Open Book Examinations.
Did you know that my CGPA skyrocketed as the stocks did during the Harshad Mehta time, owing to the OBEs? Well, now that I’ll have my offline exams, I am so excited for the tension-filled air, the sleepless nights, the actual stu(dying) and having a hand fracture while filling 30 sheets of paper in 3 hours. Blessed be the future.
Moreover, I am not an adventurous person and am so not ready to do a skydive with my CGPA for a backpack.
3. Being the ultimate DU broke student.
Did you know that being in offline college is inversely proportional to having money in your wallet? Now that my stay at home is ending, I will soon turn into a broke uni baby who skips breakfast and lunch because your one visit to Diggin cafe drains the money out of you. But bruh visits it for the feels. But who cares? It’s the “vibe”. Instagram ko aesthetic bhi toh banana hai.
4. Breathing the best quality air of Delhi.
Now that I will be back in Delhi, guess what will I need a mask for? The pollution! Trick question. Because we can beat the virus in the city, but pollution and Delhi have saat janmon ka bandhan. Getting ready for all the acne I’ll get by drinking the cleanest river of the world: Yamuna ka paani.
5. Actually doing the society work.
The societies were all fun and games till they were online. You know, just applying for the core team, getting in, not doing work and then getting the certificate is a different feeling altogether. But now that the coordinators will call the meetings in person, I won’t have the option to stay muted and then say, “connection issues the yaar.” Damn it.
6. Attending classes. For real.
Yes. It’s actually going to happen. Waking up at 7. Running to the class. Reading the texts the professors prescribed. Engaging in the lecture. Sitting attentively till the last class at 5. Making notes. And all this for real attendance. If you think this is normal college stuff, you are probably a millennial who had graduated before 2020. You don’t know the bliss of logging in to a class, plugging in earphones and going around doing the daily chores and listening to the class like an all-day podcast.
7. And melting in the glory of the hot Delhi summer.
The sultry, unbearable, oven-esque Delhi summer, here I come.
If you’re a South Delhi PG/flat owner reading this article, I am so disappointed in you and I am laying a curse because you declined to give this poor soul a place to live.