Malai (noun)
meaning:
The weird substance that covers the top layer of milk.
Every morning, I like having a cup of coffee. I walk to my kitchen, get my coffee ready and then sit in balcony. I like watching YouTube videos in the morning and I try to find something new and funny to watch. I find the video and play it.
I turn back to my cup of coffee and there it is – malai.
Why the fuck does malai invade my life every time I am about to have a little fun? I can’t even have cup of coffee or tea without having to deal with this problem.
It’s not that I hate milk. In fact, I love it. I can have it anytime. The only problem is the covering that invades the top layer of milk and the entirety of my happiness. It’s weird how people claim that malai is a luxurious item. If this is a luxury, then I’m happy being a communist and rejecting the societal notions of luxury.
While malai is the basic problem, people are often put off from milk because of it. It’s high time we fight to get milk the justice it deserves.
I have constantly fought against people who keep proclaiming how healthy it is to eat malai. The horrible white, weird texture of malai gets on your nerves.
I don’t just dislike, I detest, abhor and hate malai.
I genuinely don’t understand those who really like malai. Like why would you want that? I know everyone has the freedom to pick their own poison, but that doesn’t mean that you quite literally pick ‘poison’.
No grandma, I don’t want you to feed me malai.
She doesn’t understand why I wouldn’t eat it and I don’t understand why she doesn’t understand that I don’t want to.
Malai is like the raisin of dairy products. It is essentially fuck all. It ruins everything it is a part of and it is generally a part of thing that I like. Almost all the great Indian dishes use cream and they make you think that you can’t get through your life without having malai.
Join us in our cause. Let’s raise our voices against the tyranny of malai.
Humein chahiye Azaadi! Malaiwaad se… AZAADI!
And yes, everyone who loves malai, to each his or her own. I enjoy my tea and coffee sans malai.