The intimidating, powerful mutant we have come to know and love over the course of the X-Men films was once a beaten down little child standing on the porch of his house, terrified to go in.
This is the tragic side of the Australian actor’s life most aren’t aware of because the man does such a damn good job of putting up a brave face. He never really talked about it.
The world is already mourning the return of Hugh Jackman’s cancer for the 6th time. He has been fighting the deadly disease for more than 5 years now. He’s had multiple surgeries. But it just keeps coming back.
As respected and admired as he is in Hollywood, it wasn’t surprising to see his colleagues’ devastated reactions to the news.
He also revealed an intimate, painful part of his childhood in a candid interview that can easily shatter any heart into a million pieces.
Hugh Jackman was a mere 8 years old when his own mother abandoned him. Completely lost, he was left behind with his father and brothers as she moved to England.
“I was the youngest. I used to be the first one home and I was frightened to go inside. I couldn’t go into the house on my own. I’d wait outside, scared, frustrated.”
His complex, confused feelings soon gave way to a new troublesome phase as he moved into adolescence. His pent up frustration soon turned into anger and rebellion. He became a rowdy boy, indulging in reckless habits to act out.
“There was this perfect storm of hormones and emotion. I’ve never said this before: I just remembered that we had those metal [school] lockers, and for some reason, half in fun, we used to head-butt the lockers until there was a dent in them. Like, who was the toughest and craziest?”
But he eventually found his calling in sports, an effective way to channelize his misguided energy. The rage he felt was no different from Wolverine’s.
“From the moment Mum left, I was a fearful kid who felt powerless.”
I’m sure those memories still haunt him, even at the age of 48.
Some scars don’t fade away that easily. His broken feelings remained bottled up, cutting him inside.
“Growing up I was scared of the dark. I was scared of heights. It limited me. I hated it, and that contributed to my anger. Isn’t most anger fear-based, ultimately? It emanates from some kind of powerlessness. I was really feeling that.”
Just like sports, Jackman looked for other mediums to uplift his life.
Religion was one solid support system he could always fall back upon. He’s extremely devout and finds peace by calling to God. His lifelong spiritual journey played a huge role in his healing process.
But finally, it was acting that came to his rescue. Getting up on stage became his biggest redemption. He was saved by his one true passion.
Acting came to him so naturally that it didn’t long for Jackman to convert it into a full-fledged profession. He might be performing for an audience but every emotion he conveys is honest and heartfelt.
One statement by him can encapsulate what the stage really means to him.
“Through acting, I’m able to find a level of bliss and peace and calm and joy. And it feels natural.”
And boy, is he versatile! His films are so diversified and range from Prisoners to The Prestige, The Fountain to The Wolverine, Les Misérables to Australia. He can become anyone.
What a man Hugh Jackman is. There isn’t anyone who can miss his complete commitment to all his causes; be it his career, his marriage, his kids, his relationships with others, his lifestyle.
He pours his soul into everything he does. It shows.
Also, just so you know, he reconciled with his mother. She returned to his life and he welcomed her back. Talk about forgiving and forgetting.
Despite his struggles and current battle with cancer, Jackman remains positive. Heck, he’s even got that humour going. He’s always smiling.
We wish him all the very best for his journey ahead. We hope life is easier than what it has been till now.
He deserves it.