No one ever said that love and relationships aren’t complex – it’s because they are, but that doesn’t stop us from loving them. They mean different things to different people, and hence they can hardly ever be black or white. And, breaking up or parting ways is just as much part of a love story as staying together is. This is also why choosing to part ways, comes with a lot of emotions that aren’t always easy to process.
There’s no denying that it’s difficult to move on or even register the end of what could have been, that’s how grief is. It doesn’t come with a timeline. But, the end of a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that our lives should stop.
And these are some of the best bits of advices on break up from movies, that are proof of it:
1. Call Me By Your Name
Luca Guadagnino’s Call Me By Your Name is a love-language of its own, because it hits the heart. However, it’s Michael Stuhlbarg’s monologue which is weaved with just the right words that left us stunned – this is after Elio and Oliver’s separation. He talks about how it’s important to let the grief be and not ‘kill it’ in a rush to get rid of the feelings – both good and bad. He doesn’t consider Elio’s pain any less because of his age and addresses it, with an open heart. It is the kind of advice that remains imprinted on the mind and perhaps, among the best father-son moments from a movie.
2. Legally Blonde
Legally Blonde left us with a laugh and scenes that have remained with us. But, the film also gave us the best break up advice in a line. The scene from the film, where Warner tells Elle that she’s not ‘intelligent enough’ for an internship in law, makes her realize that she would never be good enough for him – and she decides on proving herself to him. This scene portrays how Elle knows that she deserves better and wishes to prove that to Warner and this time, not to end up with him. The scene is about self-worth and prioritizing it over any relationship in life.
3. 500 Days Of Summer
The film gave us moments that were sweet, funny and even bitter at times – it was honest. Tom falls in love with Summer and sees a forever, which she doesn’t, but that doesn’t lessen the love that they have for each other. In a scene from the film, Tom mentions how he believed in true love but doesn’t anymore, because he realised with time that it makes no sense. Summer explains that just because he wasn’t right about her, doesn’t mean that love isn’t meant for him. The advice is honest but poetic at the same time.
4. The Holiday
The Holiday is a classic rom-com that we cannot easily get over. And, it also gave us one of the most memorable advice on heartbreak. In a scene from the film, Arthur tells Iris that she doesn’t deserve to spend her Christmas vacation with any less joy just because of an ex-boyfriend. He adds that she should behave like the ‘leading lady’ of her own life. This proves to be theraputic for Iris and she understands the need to put herself first, over any rlationship or even her deep love for Jasper.
5. Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu
Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu was a light and fresh take on romance in Bollywood. The film also talks about finding oneself, while searching for ‘one true love’. In the final scene of the film, Riana explains to Rahul how she doesn’t want to complicate her relationship with him – given that their friendship is more important to her. On top of it, she adds how she likes it better to not choose a relationship, at that time. It is a very honest conversation, about prioritizing friendship over romance, unlike other Bollywood films.
6. Dear Zindagi
The film is indeed a letter to life in so many ways. In Jug, we all found a friend who feels like comfort. We even found life advice that we wish to hear from the people around us. In the film, Jug suggests Kaira to tell Rumi about how she doesn’t like to constantly listen to music. He adds that even if he wishes to end the relationship – it’s better than suffering in silence and staying in an unhappy relationship. The advice reminded us to not lose oneself in a reltionshop, even if it means breaking up.
7. Begin Again
Begin Again is a musical treat, while also being a beautiful portrayal of relationships and bonding. In the film, Dave and Gretta break up after he cheats on her. However, they meet again and he convinces her to see him play a song that she’d written as a gift for him. When Gretta goes to his concert, she realizes that Dave is a changed person – after Dave transitions into his own version. She then leaves and cycles through the city, finding the closure that she’d been looking for. Without many dialogues, the scene is filled with a lot of hope of finding oneself after a failed relationship.
8. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
The romantic drama was all about falling in love and finding an escape from a relationship that goes through a bitter end. It follows the journey of two people who undergo a procedure to remove each other from their memories after their break up. However, the film constantly aims at portraying the importance of those memories, because there were good times too, while they lasted. Jim Carrey’s character Joel even wishes to stop the procedure when he revisits the good memories of being with Clementine. The film is about new beginnings but it also focuses on the need to not rush, in order to move on.
9. Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting felt like a breath of fresh air and Dr. Sean Maguire, portrayed by Robin Williams was one of the many reasons. In the film, Will Hunting talks to Dr. Sean about a girl that he went on a date with, and how he doesn’t want to ruin things by noticing her imperfections. Dr. Sean responds with adding, that the only thing that matters is, if the two of them are perfect for each other, because otherwise he’d go through his entire life without ever actually knowing somebody. His advice is something that talks about a relationship as something more than just about ‘being perfect’.
We often turn to fiction for advice, and these films give us something to learn from heartbreak.